A Comprehensive Index/Encyclopedia/Dictionary for the League of Super Saints Universe

 


ABBA Angels A group of at least four of the original celestial angels who have forsaken both Heaven and Hell and the eternal struggle. Annoyed both by God's preference for humans, and apparently Satan's preference for them as well, they live on Earth among the humans as a techno rock quartets, and as proprietors of numerous techno/industrial/electronica rave clubs throughout the world. They still retain all their angelic powers, but not to the same degree they did while in Heaven. They push the drug synthetic ethereal to replace traditional religion. It is not known whether they can be harmed or killed.

AC/DC —a term used to describe current flow and bisexuality.

adult entertainment club —non-reputable businesses appealing to the prurient interest of society. Includes sex shops, adult bookstores and strip clubs.

the Agnostic Jake Reed was an unimposing college student majoring in Radio, Television and Film, and minoring in Psychology (with an emphasis on hypnotic regression). He spent his free time as a Mime. Jake was operating a camera for a college talk show when the guests, an atheist and a Christian Coalition spokesperson, almost came to blows. Jake was about to step in when his camera suddenly experienced a surge of electricity, and he was bathed in Technicolor light. He was rushed to the hospital, but seemed fine other than a pallid discoloration of his face.

That evening, in Jake's dorm room, Jake's roommate was awakened by a bright show of lights and illusion. Mesmerized, the roommate woke and found Jake costumed in a modified, motley Technicolor version of his Mime suit. Laughing mysteriously, Jake hypnotized his roommate and told him, "I am the Agnostic. Who knows the answers? Beware!," and ran off into the night, laughing insanely. Jake's roommate found that for days he questioned the nature of God, until the effects wore off.

The college never saw Jake again. Deeply affected by the incident, Jake became the enigmatic Agnostic, and though not highly successful on his own and always thwarted by the League of Super Saints, he found a new home with the other original members of Infidels Inc..

•  The Agnostic has no super powers, but he is an adroit hypnotist, and using his technique he can convince others of his own beliefs, whatever they may currently be. He has built many light devices into his costume which allow him to create convincing 3D illusions. Due to his Mime training he has moderate gymnastic abilities and is quite flexible.

agnosticism —a belief center based on the notion that any knowledge of a God or Creator is unattainable to humans. An heretical and ultimately godless philosophy.

algorithms —a procedure for solving a mathematical problem in a finite number of steps that frequently involves repetition of an operation.

Alien X —former superheroic name of Refugee X. Abandoned along with his heroism.

alternate timeline —timelines that differ from the timeline experienced and common to those living in mainstream time.

ambisexual --bisexual

amplification pole —inventioninvention of Dr. G-String's that Topless Dancer carries. The pole has a built in amplifier for Dr. G-String's sexual sonatas.

animal familiars —animals Wiccans and other pagans believe they are connected to and communicate with, or animal forms they can take during Satanic rites.

animal metamorphing —the ability to transform into an animal.

the Anti-Enigma Little is known about the Anti-Enigma, perhaps the most mysterious of mystery men. He appeared sometime around 1935 in Britain , in public forums urging people to watch for the rise of German power. Often yelled off the platforms, he was eventually proven correct when the Nazi horrors began. He eventually traveled to America , hoping to bring the nation out of its inactivity, but was often met with the earlier disdain and disapproval, until proven accurate. He joined Mr. Democracy and the Left Wing Liberators, finding a receptive group who did not try to question his identity or research his past. Although some speculate that the Anti-Enigma traveled all the way from some antimatter universe to aid in the war effort, no information is known about the real man behind the mask.

•  The extent of the Anti-Enigma's abilities is unknown. He has demonstrated powers of levitation and flight in the past, and seems invulnerable to energy attacks. He has also demonstrated a superhuman aptitude for linguistics and code breaking, although he has mentioned in the past that some Germanic Mystic spell keeps him from using his powers to break the Enigma Codes. The Anti-Enigma can also see future events, though not always with clarity.

apostrophe — Minor member of a trio of printer's demons. Apostrophe generates confusion over a particular point of grammar via possessiveness and other qualities. His general compatriots are pq and apostrophe, although there are innumerable printer demons who know each other well. Although their powers seem trivial, clearly they wield powers that are greater than those involved in the printing process.

Arabian Follies Tonight —Movie that Artie Warbonds was filming when he discovered the bottle that produced Jinni. A grand Hollywood music that made a great deal of money for Grand Metropolis Studios.

arcane vs. profound —the notion of good versus evil, black magic versus white magic, an irony around which Priestwoman's powers center.

arrow —object Saint Valentine carries and can use to incite erotic feelings. that are never acted upon, but lead to dissatisfaction (among his targets) with the notion of recreational sex and non-missionary positions. The arrow has no power on Saint Valentine's day, but it can be used as an offensive weapon.

art photography —a term all too often used to describe the photography of naked males and females.

Artie Warbonds and Jinni Arthur O'Mallory became a star at the age of 12, helping his adopted father turn a fledgling Hollywood studio into the powerhouse Grand Metropolis Studios. Artie was content making a variety of popular films for the studio, and, at the onset of World War II, began making documentaries and news clips detailing the Nazi rise to power, although often these fell on deaf ears. One day he happened upon an ornate but dirty bottle that he thought was a prop for his newest musical film, Arabian Follies Tonight . Removing his handkerchief, Artie rubbed the bottle, and was shocked to find a tiny but powerful genie emerge. The genie granted Artie three wishes, but Artie felt the better act was to free the genie from what was obviously a prison. This act of kindness eternally freed Jinni, as Artie called him, who was so moved that he decided to stay with Artie and offer his powers and assistance. As the Nazis grew in strength, Artie took the last name Warbonds and redoubled his efforts to raise money. Dana King, a family friend of Artie's, and secretly the hero Ms. Democracy, asked Artie to help the newly forming Left Wing Liberators with press. Artie agreed, but also revealed to Dana the secret of Jinni. Dana in turn revealed her super heroic identity, and asked Artie and Jinni to join the Liberators. They are staunch members of the group, and remain great friends, Jinni always helping Artie out of some close call or tight corner.

•  Artie Warbonds has no super powers, though he is a superb boxer. However, Jinni is always near Artie, and the little genie possesses numerous powers, including teleportational abilities, electrical generative abilities, matter manipulation abilities, and many others. Jinni's only weakness is bottles. Though he is never permanently tied to a bottle, a general flaw in the genie bloodlines still makes him unable to remove himself from any stopped bottle. Despite being freed by Artie, Jinni will not leave or betray his best friend.

Atlantis —best known, original underwater city, the exact origins of which are not fully known to the surface world.

Auxiliary Wing —a group attached to a larger group for selective use and purposes, such as Infidel Inc.'s XXX Squadron.

Axis espionage —generally refers to the attempts made by Axis Command to influence the war by subverting American idealism on American soil. The chief reason Mr. Democracy formed the Left Wing Liberators was to fight such activities.

Axis Smasher —rod that Ms. Democracy carried during her WWII career. A piece of New Bhverklean science, it granted Ms. Democracy various powers.

 


The Bald Eagle Franklin Yellow Eyes was born on a Washington Indian reservation, with yellow eyes and wings, and this was interpreted by his people as a sign of hope for the future. Franklin 's parents and the tribe leaders decided to hide the boy completely from the outside world, keeping him on the reservation for fear that the world would consider him only a freak. As Franklin grew his parents discovered that he was mute, but could emit a piercing cry like a bird of prey. When he became older, Franklin began to feel a great sadness for the plight of his people on reservations, and wanted to venture into the world to help bring attention to their problems. Though his family was wary, they knew Franklin needed to live his own life and let him go into the world. Franklin decided to adopt a superhero name, choosing the Bald Eagle to illustrate both his sadness and pride, and traveled to the outside world to battle crime, poverty and eventually, realizing the horrors of Fascism on the rise, the Axis powers. In a short time Mr. Democracy Liberal recruited him for the Left Wing Liberators, whose idealism and sense of unity the young man found stirring. He has become friends with all of the group members and fights valiantly at their side. Although he still remembers the history of his people, for now he realizes the greater, imminent threat that the Nazis pose.

•  The Bald Eagle was born with wings, and is obviously capable of flight. He is skilled in numerous flight maneuvers, and a gifted aerial acrobat. The Bald Eagle can also emit a piercing cry, like that of a bird of prey, which is disconcerting to those Nazi Scoundrels who are indeed his prey.

Balloteers —a group of super Patriots formed first in Florida under the Tallahasee Project, and later incorporated in the ultra secret Jusice Department. The Balloteers and not officially aligned with the Bush administration.

Beverly Hills —Sunset Boulevard —area of Los Angeles , and a famous street important to it. Immortalized in Wilder's classic Sunset Boulevard.

Bhverkleh —original world of Mister Liberal's parents, destroyed by some great natural disaster or (somewhat speculatively) a jealous, and ignored, God.

Bhverkleum —precious metal prized on New Bhverkleh as it came from the original homeworld. Mister Liberal and Liberal Belle's jewelry and metallic costume parts are made of this metal, which is invulnerable. It is also woven into the threads of their clothing, to make it invulnerable as well. Highly prized within the Earth black market, the New Bhverkleans work hard to keep it out of circulation. The ABBA angels have also been known to enjoy trafficking in this metal as well.

Black Panther Totem —legendary entity/object which is foretold to appear before anyone who uses the Imbutu Mask and stick, in order to judge their worthiness. So far an apocryphal story.

bisque — A rich, creamy soup made from meat, fish, or shellfish.

Black Republican Andrew Wyatt was born in 1920, the son of famous archaeologist Boston Wyatt and Jane Wyatt, a Broadway starlet. Andrew's family spent much time apart, and half the year he was on location with his father, while the other half was spent in New York with his mother. Andrew always resented the free love attitudes of his parents, and developed a brilliant, staunchly maintained conservative streak.

One summer, when Wyatt was eight years old, his father conducted an excavation in South Africa , hoping to unearth the fabled Imbutu mask. The mask was said to date from the Roman Republican Period, forged by Ancient South Africans to protect them from Pantheistic Western intrusions. The mask allegedly granted its wearer almost unlimited power.

Andrew was often left to fend for himself, and, while Andrew was precocious and somewhat unruly, the tribal people hired to help Boston in his dig nonetheless kept an eye on the child, protecting him from danger. But late one night Wyatt stole out of his tent and into the restricted dig area. He found nothing there but an old branch that he thought would nonetheless make a smashing sword. He brought it back to camp, slept with it by his side, and dreamt all night of a talking antelope.

When he woke the next morning, Andrew showed the stick to his friends in the tribe, shocking them. They took Andrew aside and told him his stick was actually the Imbutu Stick, otherwise known as the Eden Branch, a branch legend said had been taken from the tree of life right out of Eden . Rumor was that the stick provided immortality and pointed the way to the Imbutu mask, and that the branch was the true source of power for the mask. Andrew shrugged this off, as children are wont to do, but that night the antelope visited Andrew, and guided him to a black mask.

Thinking it all a dream, Andrew placed the mask on his face, and found himself transformed into a twenty one-year-old superman. The apparition warned Andrew that he must be careful how he used his power, and that he would have to speak to the Black Panther Totem, one day, to account for his actions. Andrew roused the next morning with the mask on, and when he removed it he reverted to his normal age and size, but had ascertained great knowledge. He hid the mask and stick, magically, from his father, who eventually gave up his search, and instead focused on politics.

As his family aged, Andrew never grew older. His mother eventually died from a cocaine overdose, and rebels in Africa killed his father. Left only with his family's wealth and prestige, Andrew decided to abandon his normal life altogether, and disappeared, spending years perfecting his skills in isolation. In early 2000 he decided to become a super hero, and use his powers for good and right. Andrew took the name Black Republican, and eventually came to the attention of former Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney, who asked the newly formed Balloteers to recruit him. The mystery man Black Republican thus became a charter member of the Conservative Crusaders, and publicly debuted with them in early November of 2000.

•  Black Republican possesses the Imbutu Mask and the Imbutu Stick. The Imbutu stick grants the bearer immortality, and accordingly Andrew Wyatt has not aged a day since he found the stick. However, when he wears the Imbutu mask, he appears as a twenty one-year-old man in perfect health. The Imbutu Stick also has totemic properties that are as yet undefined. The exact properties of the Imbutu Mask are also unknown, but it does imbue the wearer with certain mystical powers, including force spells and the ability to levitate physical objects. The mask must be recharged via the Imbutu Stick every new moon, in order to maintain its power. While wearing the mask, Black Republican has the agility of a cheetah and the strength of an elephant, as well as their increased fighting skills. He can also transform into a number of animals, if they are near his mystic form's size and mass. Black Republican has taken the Balloteers Hand to Hand Combat Training Program, though he rarely resorts to physical confrontation. He is always finding new ways to use his mysterious powers, and the Black Panther Totem has not, as yet, appeared to him.

black magic —magic that is evil and aligned with Satan.

bleeding heart birthmark —birthmark on Mister Liberal's chest. The symbol of Bhverkleh and New Bhverkleh, D'or's family and people knew by this mark he was to be a great leader. Upon his return to Earth following a 45 year hiatus, D'or had developed a similar mark on his forehead.

Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha —blessed member of the League of Super Saints. Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha possesses the power of flight and is impervious to all poxes. She can also inflict smallpox on others at will, and is able to control the intensity and duration of the illness. In addition, as the daughter of a fierce pagan Mohawk warrior, she possesses savage fighting skills including scalping, tomahawk chopping and savage war-crying.

blood double —form created when Saint Januarius empties his body of solid blood. Capable of independent motion, this form will eventually take over the consciousness of Saint Januarius if outside of him too long, and must in any case find the “host” form and return to it, or be summoned back.

Blueboy Billy Buoytosky was born on the wrong side of the Siberian tracks, and his mother Anna had died early in his childhood, the victim of a horrible train disaster. Billy's father said he would never amount to anything, but Billy pushed himself during his childhood, vowing to succeed despite his circumstances.

So it was that Billy trained and became a world champion fencer and figure skater, the first Russian to compete in both of these events in the Olympics, and to win gold. He was especially well known for his dramatic skating routines, where crowds found themselves moved to tears, overwhelmed with the sad beauty of his icy interpretations. Billy had found that, among other things in puberty, he could depress anyone around him if he tried. Indeed, Billy had many secrets.

After his great Olympic victories, Billy found himself unsure of his future. He moved to America and then decided to come out publicly, even posing nude in a major gay magazine to make the outing complete. As soon as the magazines appeared, Billy found himself blacklisted, and the numerous offers to appear across the country and on cereal boxes disappeared. Although many accepted and encouraged him, the general public no longer considered him their "Buoy," and spurned him.

Nearly suicidal, Billy was contacted by Darwin 665 of Infidels Inc., who asked him to join his auxiliary group the XXX Squadron, a group devoted to wrecking the moral fiber of America . Billy adopted the name Blueboy, and finds safety in the new friendships of his sinful squad. He and Centerfold are especially good friends, considering the similarity of their circumstances, but there is no hope for a relationship which would rescue either from their pernicious ways.

•  Although unknown to the general public, Blueboy is actually a mutant who was born with the ability to generate a sense of dramatic sadness and depression in those around him. This ability manifested itself at puberty, but Billy always kept it hidden. Blueboy can either generate a general sense of sadness to a large crowd, or focus his power to create overwhelming depression in any single target. When Blueboy is using this power his skin becomes bluish and yellowish blue's psychological complement) in appearance. An Olympic level fencer, Billy carries a sword to use in combat, and is also above average in hand to hand combat, quite able to translate his icy athleticism to solid ground.

the Bonnie Portmores —the Wicked Wiccan's original Celtic rock group.

Broadway —long standing seat of American Theatre, including the original American Art Form the Musical. Held hostage by British forces in the late eighties and early nineties, Disney has currently vanquished the foe.

Butterfly Shar Thal Nulia dea Lectd Ronglea was born into the Sidhe nobility of the fairy folk. Attracted to the Sidhe Government at an early age, Shar was eventually elected a full member of the governing authority. But her political leanings were always distant from her fairy brothers and sisters. Some of Shar's proposed legislation ran contrary to the hedonistic, fun-filled pursuits of those in her world. Her seriousness was often treated lightly, until she managed to organize troll and ogre resistance, and overthrow the King and Queen of the Fairies. Immediately she set up a reform minded government, focused primarily on ending Sidhe oppression, stopping the theft of human babies, and opening the Sidhe Wildlife Preserve for the mining of fairy dust.

However, not long after she set up her government, comprised mainly of Trolls, Ogres and other fairy expatriates she welcomed back, Shar found herself under attack by the King and Queen of the fairies, whose loyal subjects easily overthrew the TroOgre army. Brought before the newly restored Sidhe noble council, the reform minded Shar was exiled from the Realm of the Fairies. She was forced to relinquish her wings for size, and sent to live among the humans and the babies she tried to protect. Shar traveled around the globe, relishing life among humans. She found them less pretentious, and far less ethereal, than her fairy counterparts. But she still harbored thoughts of returning to the fairy world and once again setting up a democracy and ending the rule by Kings and Queens.

Eventually Shar was forced to find regular employment, and, as she retained some of her fairy abilities, including the ability to create dazzling light shows, she found work as the lighting designer for the Latin-Hawaiian torch singing sensation and heartthrob Rikki Tiki. When Rikki returned to his hometown of Miami for a concert, Shar traveled with him, and her human contacts told her about the formation of a group of patriots under the auspices of the top secret (but not to former fairies) Tallahassee Project. Shar joined the Balloteers as Butterfly.

•  Shar has numerous fairy abilities that she kept even while transitioning between fairy and normal life. She has the ability to generate light shows that are incredibly complex, and, at will, she can make these light shows affect human brainwaves so that all those exposed to the light become extremely confused. In addition, Butterfly carries three packets of fairy dust, which seem inexhaustibly filled with powders that mimic the effects of alcohol, cocaine and Valium. A subject need only inhale the substance to experience a reaction immediately, but the fairy dust is not addictive. Butterfly has recently discovered that she can shrink to her pre-exile fairy size, and that when she does so, her wings appear again and she can fly, though she loses the larger range of her light projecting abilities. Butterfly has completed the Balloteer Hand to Hand Combat Training Program with flying colors, and is a scrappy little fighter for one so light.

 


California Project —Ultra secret government think tank and experiment center, located in California during the World War II era and into the 1960s. Responsible for the Mid-Nite Express' powers, as well as other unknown technological creations and experiments on many people. Replaced with the New California project in the modern era.

campus talk shows —cheaply produced, public access programs prevalent on major university campuses.

Cantilevered Compound —HQ of Infidels Incorporated. Located in Los Angeles , this Frank-Lloyd Wright house has been adapted into a near impenetrable fortress. Formerly used by the Left Wing Liberators.

capital punishment —death.

capital punishment belt —utility belt Captain Capital Punishment wears. The belt has several compartments that mimic capital punishments (lethal injection, electrocution, gas chamber death and hanging).

Captain Capital Punishment Wallace Rushmore was a correctional officer stationed in Death Row at the local penitentiary in his hometown of Oswald , Texas in the early 1950s. Wallace had longed to fight in World War II but was classified as unfit for service due to his poor eyesight. When the Correctional Board requested a volunteer for experiments to enhance the agilities and strength of correctional officers, Wallace was the first to volunteer, and immediately chosen for his years of outstanding service and his physical health.

Wallace began receiving the so-called "correctional officer serum," at first experiencing no results, but within a month he began to notice both his reflexes and strength were increased. In addition, his eyesight was improved to greater than 20/20. However, in a few more weeks, he became sluggish, eventually falling into a coma. Wallace spent years on life support, as doctors could not figure out where they went wrong with the experiments and why Wallace did not age or lose his essential muscle tone.

In the late 1990s Wallace woke from his coma and came to confront a new society, where he saw crime rampant. He resumed his duties as a correctional officer but was dismissed when he misjudged his strength and almost killed a violent Death Row inmate. The Correctional Board ordered Wallace to remain within the system for study, but Wallace left and vowed to continue fighting crime, and become the costumed Captain Capital Punishment. Although seen as a hero to some, the Correctional Board eventually began hounding him as a criminal, falsely stating that he was once an inmate, and Captain Capital Punishment often came into conflict with the League of Super Saints. For this reason he eventually came to join Infidels Inc., whose crew of mental misanthropes shielded him from the omnipresent Correctional Board and, if some of the Infidels did not agree with him, all members agreed he had a right to his opinions. He continues to be a member of this group.

•  The correctional officer serum, which appears to be a permanent part of Captain Capital Punishment's body chemistry, has increased his strength, reflexes, speed, endurance and many other attributes by five times. Captain Capital Punishment also wears a utility belt with capsules containing an electrical shocking device, a lethal-like injection hypodermic device, a garrote and gas pellets, all of which mimic capital punishments but are not fatal.

carousel men —carnie worker men who travel around running the carousel at amusement parks/fairs. They often keep women strung along in a perpetual circle of use and abuse.

Cats —musical based on Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot, with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof —a play by Tennessee Williams. The altercation following Margaret Gleeson's performance in this play, and director West End 's critical fall from grace in the same production led to Margaret's discovery of her simian transformational abilities.

Celestial Cherubim —an in-house force employed by the Galactic Angelus to preserve the new homeworlds they have created and adapted for refugees of the Galactic Pope.

Celtic —a term loosely applied to all things Irish and of Ancient Ireland.

Centerfold The exact origin of Centerfold is not certain. Most believe that she was once Gianna Schicca, an Italian actress whose winning performances in Italian films were Oscar caliber, or so many in Hollywood speculated. In time Schicca was asked to star in an American picture, a highly anticipated film about the life and times of the Virgin Mary, as seen through the eyes of a talking donkey. When Mabel, Donkey in the Middle Eastern Cities premiered, it garnered raves for Schicca and all involved, and numerous religious groups put their stamp of approval on the picture.

But the day after the premiere, Centerfold magazine devoted an entire post-premiere issue to the porn pursuits of Schicca, and provided still pictures as proof. Eventually the pornographic movie in question began to circulate, and Schicca was condemned by churches, politicians and eventually the media that had previously dubbed her its darling. Schicca tried to explain that the film was made during a strange time in her life when her world seemed warped, many changes were occurring, and she did not know what she wanted to do with her skills, but this was to no avail. Her career ruined, Schicca, embittered and angry, disappeared, vowing to revenge herself against the closed-minded prudery of Americans.

Around that time the villain known as Centerfold appeared, and so similar were the two in appearance that many assume they are the same. Centerfold insists that she does not know who Schicca is. Though the truth is uncertain, when Centerfold appeared she quickly found herself at odds with those who favored decency, but could never create as great an impact as she wanted. Eventually she learned of Infidels Inc., and was approached by Darwin 665 to join their auxiliary group the XXX Squadron. She now fights with them against morality.

•  Centerfold is extremely flexible, seemingly infinitely jointed, such that she can fold in upon herself and teleport between two areas. The exact range of her "folding" abilities is unknown, but in all cases she leaves a small "erotic wake" upon folding which increases the arousal of all within a few yards. Centerfold has been capable of warping time in the past, and seems able to travel forward or backward in time at least one minute, although when she does this the erotic wake is minimal and she cannot teleport for at least thirty minutes afterward. Some speculate that Centerfold is a mutant, and that her powers manifested themselves during her time of confusion.

centerfolding —term used to describe Centerfold's ability to warp space and thus teleport her physical essence.

Children's Television Programming —broadcast programming aimed at younger audiences and often laced with sexual and even homoerotic imagery.

Chimptopia —isolated, camouflaged island that Pierre the Evolutionary Chimpanzee's ancestors migrated to early in their history. It is an ancient culture built around simian socialism.

chocolate truffles —chocolate Saint Valentine stores in an alternate dimension for Saint Valentine's day. These truffles can heighten romantic feelings as he can.

Christmas —day celebrated in Christian cultures as the birth of Jesus. Saint Nicholas only appears on this day.

cloning —the ability to generate another living being, identical to another, by using DNA samplings and “growing” the new form. A practice perfected by Rogue Scientists in the 30 th Century.

communications earrings —earrings developed by Darwin 665 and Mister Liberal that consist of small intercoms, allowing members of Infidels Inc. to contact and speak with each other.

Computer Control Room —common center for Infidels Inc., located deep within the cantilevered compound.

containment suit —suit developed for the Red Light by Darwin 665, which allows her to maintain corporeal form.

Correctional Board, Texas — Texas thinktank comprised of persons involved in the detention and possible rehabilitation of criminals. A somewhat secret branch of the general Correctional Board system.

Correctional Officers Serum —chemical administered to Wallace Rushmore that transformed him into Captain Capital Punishment. A variant of this chemical also created the Balloteer Roadblock.

Count Recount Otto Von Recomte was born in Transylvania , the purple skinned, pointy eared love child of a minor American Diplomat, Dana Von Recomte

(a crackpot accountant) and a local gypsy woman. Shortly after Otto's birth his mother, knowing she could not give him a good life, placed him on the steps of the American Embassy. The staff brought him inside, and Dana Von Recomte and his wife then decided to adopt the child, to avoid any unseemly situations. Otto Von Recomte grew up happily, guiltless of the illicit behavior and sin that had brought him into the world. Otto eventually hoped to go into the stock market, for as a child he always had a brilliant head for numbers. Indeed, while growing up, Otto always felt a hunger for numbers, and seemed to psychically feed on the numeric thoughts of those around him, which sated the hunger.

As he grew older, desiring a sunnier climate, Otto moved to the family's estate in Miami , Florida . During the eighties, Otto did indeed make a fortune in the stock market by feeding on and using the numbers he gleaned from those around him. Eventually Otto decided to run for public office, and, as he did not seem to age, he was poised for a long tenure in the United States Senate. However, rumors began to circulate that Otto was actually a vampire, and, although the question seemed ridiculous, the purple hue of his skin, and his pointed ears, led many to question his motives. Otto decided to leave the United States and return to Transylvania where his father finally explained everything.

While in Transylvania he tracked down his mother, and her clan, and indeed found out that they were Vampires, ungodly creatures who fed on the blood of humans. His mother was elated to see him, but Otto would have none of the gypso-vampiric lifestyle. Fully enmeshed in his Capitalist World, he only asked his mother why he was not a full vampire. Hurt by her son's refusal to embrace her, she shrugged her shoulders, but the eldest of the clan stepped forward and told Otto that his father's gifted accountant blood and his mother's vampire blood had mingled, giving Otto the need to feed psychically off of numbers. Relieved that he would never become a bloodthirsty, godless vampire, Otto returned to America , redefining in his mind the notion of number cruncher. Upon his return to the family home in Miami , Otto received a call from a political ally, Sunshine Farris, who urged him to join a new group poised to fight for Republicanism. Finding in this request the call to public service that he so patriotically wanted to answer, Otto Von Recomte joined the Balloteers as Count Recount.

•  A numeric vampire, Count Recount feeds “psychically” off of the numbers in other human minds. While the process is not painful, it does sate an innate “numeric hunger” present in Count Recount, and it does result in the need for his “subjects” to recount whatever mathematical or otherwise numerical project they had in their head. Otto does not possess superhuman strength or speed, although he does possess some of the agility and swiftness of his fully vampiric bloodline. Otto does not age as humans do, although he will grow old in a number of centuries. The purple hue of his skin has never been explained, but Count Recount is not susceptible to damage from the sun. He has completed the Balloteer Hand to Hand Combat Training Course with excellent results.

Cro-Maggie Margaret Gleeson was a shining star on the Broadway stage, appearing in numerous new projects and classic plays. It was no surprise, then, when an enterprising young director named West End decided to mount a new and controversial production of Tennessee Williams' Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and asked Margaret to play Maggie the Cat. Margaret immediately accepted and planned to make a stunning turn, hoping to aid this fledgling director for whom she felt some attraction.

But from the beginning End's production was plagued with rumors—that the upstart was going to ruin Williams' play, that everything about his production was wrong. So when the play opened to a packed house, despite audience appreciation for Margaret's interpretation, the production was received with boos and hisses. The next morning Margaret winced as she read the horrible reviews, knowing that indeed the director had massacred the work and that the play would close immediately.

Later that evening Margaret was collecting her things at the theatre when West End dropped by, obviously drunk, and began yelling at Margaret. “Maggie,” he said, “you bitch! You ruined it all! Why do actresses always think they can make the play!”

Margaret calmly lit a cigarette and blew smoke in his face. With a drop of her lids she gave him a go to hell look. Angered even more West told her she should do better in the future than simply ape those who had played before her. These words whipped Margaret into a frenzy, and she assaulted West with a verbal barrage and a venom she usually reserved for the stage. When West slapped her in the face, she suddenly found herself transformed into a chimpanzee-woman, and sent West running out the door with her words and frightening new appearance.

But Margaret looked at herself in the mirror and found something exciting about being an ape. Although she could transform back to human at will, she began spending most of her time in the new simian form. For a while she continued to act, doing so less and less as it required her to be in human form, and ultimately finding it no longer fulfilling. When Infidels Inc.'s exploits put them on the front page of the news, Margaret saw Pierre and fell for him. With the help of her agent she contacted the group, and taking the name Cro-Maggie, decided to join them.

Cro-Maggie has found a comfortable place with her newest “stage family” as she terms Infidels Inc., and she has never hidden her desire and ultimate love for Pierre, who likewise fell for Maggie. The two remain monkey lovers to this day.

•  Cro-Maggie is, of course, a supreme actress and no one is able to tell her exact feelings if she is “performing”. She is able to transform from a human to her chimpanzee-woman form at will, but prefers to remain a chimpanzee-woman. Indeed, she now assumes this is her original state. In chimpanzee-woman form Cro-Maggie possess the heightened strength, agility and acrobatic abilities of an above average chimpanzee female. She smokes endlessly, and often uses second hand smoke as an offensive weapon. As she once played Hamlet onstage, Cro-Maggie is an expert swordsperson.

 


Darwin 665 By the close of the thirtieth century all traces of evolutionary thought had been removed from the educational process on Earth. However, a rogue group of underground scientists insisted on returning Earth to the great teachings of Charles Darwin. They decided to create a clone using genetic samples of Darwin and, after 664 unsuccessful attempts, the scientists created a clone genetically enhanced with superDarwinian intelligence and great physical prowess. Upon gaining sentience this clone, dubbed Darwin 665, decided the best chance for returning evolutionary ideals to society would be traveling to a time when the seeds of anti- evolutionary thought were just beginning. Darwin 665 felt he could then influence time and change the course of history. Darwin 665 created a time-travel machine and traveled to the late 20 th century armed with his evolutionary device. Many times his efforts were thwarted by the League of Super Saints, and Darwin 665 helped form Infidels Inc. as a counterbalance to the saintly syndicate.

•  Although first intended to be a simple clone of Charles Darwin, Darwin 665 has been genetically enhanced by the rogue scientists. As such, he is a super genius, brilliant in both science and strategy, and possesses heightened physical strength. In addition he has a time travel device on his belt which can propel him forward or backward in time. The exact length of time travel varies depending on power used, but Darwin 665 is careful not to use too much power and thus drain his belt's energy. The belt also contains his evolutionary device. This invention can either evolve or de-volve any living thing.

demonhood--the state of being one of Satan's underlings.

divisionism--the ability to divide into two separate entities.

Dr. G-String Beau Richmond was born in upstate New York to the wealthy fishing line tycoon Rich Richmond and his wife Kathleen. Beau spent his childhood happily, and eventually decided to go to college and become an engineer rather than take over his father's fishing line industry. Because the company was essentially self sufficient, this decision did not bother Beau's family, who were actually thrilled with the intelligence and inventive potential their child had

demonstrated since puberty. They were likewise not terribly upset when Beau, after a few months at Upstate New York University , decided to transfer to the school's pre-med department. A doctor was a splendid career, they thought, for their son.

But, when Beau telephoned home and explained to his parents that, after taking a few music classes his teachers had discovered a hidden talent, and that now he wanted to go to Julliard, they told him there would, in that case, be no more money. Determined to go to Julliard, Beau moved to New York City and began working odd jobs to help him meet his new financial demands.

Eventually close to burning out, Beau met Belle Montes while out clubbing one night, and, attracted, they eventually went home and had a long, “passionate” discussion. Belle suggested that Beau start dancing with her at an exotic club where she was a topless dancer. Unsure, but willing to give it a try, Beau discovered he enjoyed the experience, and the money he earned was more than enough to pay the bills. He and Belle eventually moved in together, and worked their act into a G-string fantasy where Beau played a violin he had invented which stimulated the erotic interests of their clientele.

When Times Square transformed from fornication alley to Disney, Beau and Belle's club closed, leaving them both unemployed. Beau had to drop out of Julliard, and so decided to adopt the costumed criminal identity of Dr. G-String, and Belle joined him as Topless Dancer. At first they pulled a series of small time heists, but were eventually approached by Darwin 665 to join the auxiliary group to Infidels Inc., the XXX Squadron. No longer active in criminal affairs, the two now fight for the restoration of first amendment sexual freedoms with their fellow Squad Members. At last at home with other pushers of immorality, Beau and Belle admiringly call Darwin 665 Professor XXX.

•  Having trained in dance with Belle, Dr. G-String is capable of numerous gymnastic feats and gyrating moves, and possesses above average skills in hand to hand combat. Although unknown to the general public, Dr G-String is in fact a mutant who possesses superhuman engineering and invention skills, and he can use these skills to create new weapons and mechanical objects on the spot. Dr. G-String's signature device is his g-string violin, an invention which stimulates erotic desire to various degrees, depending upon what music, in what key, in what way, is played. He is a gifted musician as well.

Dragon of Saint George —dragon thought to be slain by Saint George in Medieval Times, but which he actually internalized. The dragon is always trying to get out of Saint George, and her name is Shirley.

 


eden branch —another name for the Imbutu Stick of Black Republican.

electric chair —form of capital punishment in which convicted persons are strapped to a chair rigged to receive electrical currents, and said current is passed through their bodies to facilitate death.

empathic —able to sense and possibly affect emotions.

End, West —originally an acclaimed director, West End spearheaded the production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof which was critically lambasted despite Margaret Gleeson's outstanding performance. In the ensuing years, West's alcoholic tendencies have forced him into obscurity.

erotic blasts —one of the powers Red Light's containment suit grants her. These blasts can make an opponent or gratified receiver feel strong sexual emotions, with all the attendant physical reactions.

erotic wake —sexual excitement left after Centerfold teleports.

es-- minor member of a trio of printer's demons. es is responsible for the removal of es in certain words like possesses , as well as the letter s alone ending certain words. es also created Manuel Labore's super heroic identity, much to es' own chagrin. His general compatriots are pq and apostrophe, although there are innumerable printer demons who know each other well. Although their powers seem trivial, clearly they wield greater powers than those involved in the printing process.

eucharistic inversion /conversion —the ability to transform the Eucharist from its true form to one resembling split pea soup paste, as demonstrated by the Reverse Catholic.

Evanjellicle Morissa Eliot spent most of her childhood years at Church services and observing the behavior of cats, in that order. As she grew older, she developed aptitudes similar to the cats she enjoyed watching in between her normal Bible verse studies. Eventually she became quite enamored with the musical Cats , but her parents told her it was a lewd representation of perversions of nature. Plus, they danced.

As she grew into a teen, the only act of rebellion Morissa ever committed was secretly attending a touring company of Cats , which had come to her hometown of Orlando . Telling her parents she was going to a friend's house to play Bible trivia, Morissa instead bought a ticket and went to the theatre. Initially she was awestruck by the opening spectacle, but, when the cats began to dance about, to her eyes it was all too suggestive. Although she made it past the Gumbie Cat, as the Rum Tum Tugger arrived on the stage, Morissa felt a mixture of fear, disgust and righteous indignation. Frenzied, she ran onstage and immediately began delivering a stinging rebuke to the lascivious feline and his feline fiends onstage. Security eventually reached the nimble girl, and they took her into custody.

The police called her parents, who were livid that Morissa had disobeyed them, but secure in the knowledge that she had realized the error of her ways. Little did they know Morissa had pledged to use her cat-like aptitudes to further decency and morality. She vowed to create a costume that would strike fear into the hearts of the ungodly, and turned her pre-purchased Cats shirt into just such a costume, one to send shivers down non-believers' spines. That night, Morissa Eliot became Evanjellicle. As she grew older, by day Morissa lived a normal life, eventually graduating from college and going to work as a telephone counselor for the Seven Tribes Equals One Son Club, an Orlando based televangelist ministry. At night, she would look for sinners in her costumed identity. Eventually Evanjellicle came to the attention of Secretary of State, who recruited her as a member of her Tallahassee Project team the Balloteers. Evanjellicle feels at home with her new Moral Compassed Conservatives.

Evanjellicle possesses aptitudes and abilities similar to those of cats, including increased reaction time, gymnastic abilities, poise, grace and speed. She is not, however, haughty, snobbish and prone to bouts of indecent lewdness, as witnessed by her Rum Tum Tugger reaction. Evanjellicle is a superb fighter given her cat-like abilities, and has also completed the Balloteer Hand to Hand Combat Training Program with full honors. Using her costume claws she can cling to most surfaces. The exact cause of Evanjellicle's cat-like abilities is unknown, and though some have speculated she is a mutant, many scientists at the Tallahassee Project simply believe she studied cats so intensely as an infant that she gleaned their abilities quite normally.

Evergladys The exact origin of the being Evergladys is completely unknown. After election night in November of 2000, she apparently rose out of the mud, muck and water of the Florida Everglades. She could not exactly remember who she was, or why she was, but she knew her mission and her meaning in life had something to do with “ballots,” which she heard repeatedly in her head. For this reason, the public appearance of the Balloteers, a team of Super-Patriots, caught her attention. She approached the group and, assuming this to be her mission, she asked to join them via her limited speech and telepathic abilities.

They accepted, for it was clear she was a powerful superbeing, even though they did not exactly know where she came from. Evergladys assumes this is her place in the world, though she feels that, when the missing pieces of her origins are restored, there will be some changes. Some in the Balloteers feel generally uneasy about Evergladys, but they like to keep her close to them rather than have her out and on her own. Evergladys keeps to herself mostly, and prefers to live outside of the Balloteers' Island Compound. Her home is the nature she is now inextricably tied to, even though she does not understand why.

•  Evergladys appears to be the living embodiment of the Florida Everglades. Her simplistic body is formed of mud, moss, shrubs, and the various elements in the swamp. Evergladys has stated that she can change her form into many others, including a dragonfly form and an alligator form, but has said that her current form is the closest to how she feels. Although that form has no eyes, she can see by sensing movements in the ground while she is attached to some living part of the Earth. In addition, she can teleport by molding her body into the earth and re-molding it through either mud or some plant that grows in swampy conditions. She has limited speech, although she learns more every day, and she can telepathically communicate through the earth, so that anyone understands her clearly. She can sense disturbances in the earth, and feels intrusions into the everglades as intense pain. Evergladys wears a discarded prom dress she collected from an old trunk at the bottom of the swamps. She has access to many secrets, carries some in her likewise salvaged handbag, and knows what is hidden in the mud of her birthplace. So far, however, her primary goal is trying to piece together her former identity.

evolutionary device —belt Darwin 665 developed and wears, which can move him through short periods of time, or regress others to simian forms.

exploding sacred heart balloons —type of balloon carried by Saint Philip Neri. Can be directed and/or exploded at his will.

Extreme Green Saint Patrick variant —Saint Patrick is an active member of the League of Super Saints throughout the year. However, on March 17 of each year Saint Patrick's power is greatly increased due to a greater public awareness of him. At this time Saint Patrick's energy increases to such a degree that he actually transforms from his usual form into Extreme Green Saint Patrick. Extreme Green Saint Patrick has increased physical strength, and his emerald power is likewise greatly increased so that in addition to its usual power the green Irish energy can create green force fields of any kind, and Extreme Green Saint Patrick can shape the energy into a variety of simple shapes. Extreme Green Saint Patrick's shillelagh also becomes a more potent weapon, and takes the appearance of a red-orange snake, which he can activate at will. When activated, this snake is like a dragon, and can breathe fire. The only disadvantage Extreme Green Saint Patrick encounters during this time is that, due to the change in his body size, he is no longer a capable dancer.

 


fairy dust —dust of unknown composition found in fairyland and possessing many different properties depending on the fairy using the dust.

Fairy Wildlife Preserve —Fae sanctuary left unmined and untouched. Host to many forms of flora and fauna.

Florida Everglades —swampland in Florida , known as a repository for many “inconveniences” of society.

fluffer —porn industry position that requires a girl (or in gay porn man) to maintain the sexual excitement of deviant sexual performers while off camera.

flight inner soles —invention of Darwin 665 that allows all members of Infidels Inc. and its auxiliary the XXX Squadron to fly, assuming the individual member of the group is wears shoes.

Fluff-girl Thumper Downs was abandoned as an infant, left in the English countryside by her punk parents in the early eighties—she was the result of a drug induced night of illicit sex, unwanted. As luck would have it, the young girl was taken by the mysterious Secret Society of Rabbits and raised among them. Thumper always exhibited rabbit-like aptitudes, which had attracted the society to her plight, and as the girl reached puberty, she began to manifest super-human rabbit-like abilities.

The Secret Society of Rabbits knew, however, that Thumper could not always live with them. They taught her about her other world, its languages, its customs, and eventually Thumper realized a human was a danger to the Society, so she bid her family farewell and headed for London .

Attracted to dark places, Thumper eventually found herself in the seedy backstreets of London 's porn industry. Seeing nothing wrong with sex on the level of rabbits, Thumper obtained a position warming up male performers. Thumper realized that, in addition to her rabbit-like abilities, she generated above normal feelings of sexual desire in males, and this aided her in her occupation.

One night, as she was returning to her flat, a man accosted her in the alley and threatened to take her life if she did not give in to his desires. Enraged, Thumper found herself transformed into a vicious bunny creature. She almost killed her assailant, then ran away, disappearing into the night and seeming obscurity.

But Darwin 665 of Infidels Inc. tracked Thumper down and offered her a home and a position in the auxiliary group the XXX Squadron. Content with the fiends she found in the group, she decided to take the name Fluff-girl, and enjoys her new status attempting to turn the world into mere animalistic sex fiends.

•  Fluff-Girl has a natural affinity with rabbits, and always possessed great leaping and scratching abilities. These skills were heightened to superhuman state at puberty, so that she is now able to leap tall buildings, and scratch through metal. When she was first assaulted in the London alley, Fluff-Girl discovered she could transform into a hideous bunny beast. She retains this ability, but must be in sufficient danger, or greatly angered, to achieve the monster rabbit form. Fluff-girl can also increase the human male's desire to copiously reproduce. She can speak the language of the Secret Society of Rabbits, though no one save these rabbits can understand her. But, most rabbits will aid her if she asks in general rabbitspeak, which she also speaks fluently. When in costume Fluff-Girl's ears, tail and claws are real.

Freedom Force— On Jeanne Dark's alternate Earth, a group of religious minded people intent on overcoming the tyranny of the Holy British Empire.

the Frigid Feminist Charlotte Dewynt was a scientist in a fertility research center, her specialty being the study of human sperm motility and adaptability. One night a male co-worker, upset after she spurned his advances, decided to lock her in the deep-freeze room. Although he intended this as a joke, the co-worker forgot about her and left her.

Charlotte would have died except that she injected herself with a super-freeze serum she had been working on, which was intended to allow tissue to stay frozen in normal temperatures. She thought the serum would likely kill her, but found after injecting herself that the freezing temperature did not bother her. When her guilty co-worker came to work the next morning, he soon remembered he had left Charlotte , and was amazed and relieved to see she had survived. However, with one icy stare from Charlotte , he found his body chilled, and his testicles drawn into his abdomen.

Thus Charlotte discovered her abilities and soon adopted the name the Frigid Feminist. Her activities brought her into direct conflict with the League of Super Saints, and she banded with other anti-heroes to form Infidels Inc..

•  The Frigid Feminist can survive indefinitely in freezing temperatures as her body chemistry has been altered so that her body temperature is always below freezing. Thus, extreme heat does not bother her. Her touch is icy, but her most potent weapon is her glacier stare, which can chill anyone to the bone, or even encase them in ice, depending on the intensity of her focus. It is especially potent on males, who leave her slightest gaze finding themselves unable to engage in any sexual activity for days. She must wear special glasses to prevent her glare from accidentally inflicting frigidity on innocent bystanders.

Funes gentle South American poet whose postmodern, timeless existence roused the wrathful intent of the Galactic Pope.

 


g-string violin —customized violin of Dr. G-String. When played, the violin causes varying degrees of sexual excitement and stimulation, depending on how and what is played.

The Galactic Angelus —a group of passionate renegade angels who differ from the ABBA angels in that they the galaxy trying to save the victims of the Galactic Pope, as well as helping to find them new homes. Highly peace loving, they have nonetheless attacked the Galactic Pope on occasion, with some degree of success. On a recent voyage with the Red Light and Refugee X to their respective homeworlds, Mister Liberal discovered new life on Bhverkleh. Puzzled, a Galactic Angel appeared to him to explain that, while Bhverkleh was no longer suitable for Bhverkleans due to a unique radiation that would destroy their longevity, the Galactic Angelus found a refugee species that could live on the planet. The Angelus thus formed the planet into a new home for the primitive race. Mister Liberal was moved by the circumstances, but did not reform his heretical ways. On the same trip the Red Light discovered the Galactic Pope had seemingly destroyed her people and the living light that was their planet. However, she found a crystal sphere that was the solidified sentience of her people. Even more content in their collected solid form, they asked the Red Light to place them near El'ls, the central star of their system, which she did. Refugee X found only the dead husk of his planet, and no other survivors. Following this he decided to form the Galactic Refugees from super powered survivors of planets destroyed by the Galactic Pope, with the approval of the Galactic Angelus.

the Galactic Pope —being of unknown earthly origin who travels the galaxy, and presumably universe, destroying civilizations in a quest to preserve theological unity in the universe.

Galactic Refugees —band of super heroic entities gathered by Refugee X to protect worlds from the Galactic Pope, and eventually seek his destruction.

Galileo-- Renaissance genius/astronomer rumored to have created the Humanist. Confessed the sins of his life and was thus saved before his death.

Gendarme Daumier —top fashion designer who used Cal Vynn in many of his underwear campaigns with stellar results.

gender switch —the process of changing one's sexual make-up to the opposite form.

Gilles, Jaques des —birth name of the Infidel known as Jack.

Gleeson, Dame Margaret —Cro-Maggie's original identity, an acclaimed Broadway actress.

Great Portal Reef —not specifically a reef, but given that name by early Oolantean settlers, who had discovered a group of Sea Urchins clustered together who had the ability to transport objects between their locations. This allowed Oolanteans quick access to the Pacific Ocean , where they settled. These sea urchins are found throughout the oceans, but only in the deep-water trenches.

gypsies, tramps and thieves —phrase used to describe Unwed Mother and her family, and indeed, any seemingly nomad peoples with idiosyncrasies.

gypso-vampiric —term used to describe the nomadic, free wandering, and ultimately degenerate lifestyle of certain vampire clans in Europe and, occasionally, the Americas.

 


Han/Hans —two different names the ReZoner can be referred to as. Sometimes he likes to drop the s, which is silent anyhow. The demon es may also be involved.

hanging —form of capital punishment in which convicted persons are hanged with a noose, facilitating death due to a broken neck or asphyxiation.

Hanging Chad Chad Knight had spent most of his young life managing a bookstore in Jacksonville , Florida , generally appalled by the moral and social degradation he saw through most literary minds. At night he spent much of his time writing ghost stories filled with moral lessons, and thought of himself as the William J. Bennett of the ghost writing set. But he was always afraid of failure and rejection in an industry he felt was often close to pornographic, so he never took a chance on sending the stories to a publisher.

One night Chad was typing on his computer after a particularly rough day at work. He blacked out and began experiencing bizarre visions. This happened on three consecutive nights, and ended with Chad walking through the walls of his apartment. He decided to go to his doctor, who told him it was just anxiety, and that he should get more sleep and take a tranquilizer to ease what were likely panic attacks. Chad thought this could be true, but he continued to have the blackouts and visions despite a more regular sleep schedule and the tranquilizers.

Chad was near the end of his rope when, during one particularly long blackout, an apparition appeared, dressed in a blood red rawhide Speedo and the matching mask of one about to be executed. The apparition explained that he was from the bloodline of French settlers who had been massacred by Spanish forces in what is now Jacksonville . Calling himself Morte of the Huguenots, the spirit explained that the Spanish soldiers hanged the first of their family in the colony, but that ancestor vowed right before death that his spirit would live to fight injustice and tyranny. Morte explained that he was born that night, in spirit form, and through the ages inhabited the descendants of that first martyr, helping to fight the evil and ignominy that developed as Florida grew into a state.

Suddenly, Chad awoke from this vision, finding the costume, as well as a rawhide rope, lying beside his bed. Chad touched the rope, and instantly became a pale skinned apparition and his mind filled with visions of super heroic deeds. Hanging Chad was thus born, and he became the scourge of villains and those he saw as evil. Eventually his activities brought him to the attention of the newly formed Balloteers, who welcomed him as a founding member. He continues fighting alongside his Patriotic Compatriots under the auspices of the Jusice Department.

•  Hanging Chad possesses the unique ability to become immaterial at will. As Hanging Chad developed this ability, he discovered he could also use it to become nearly invisible, almost completely nonexistent. In addition to these powers, Hanging Chad carries a seemingly supernatural rope, which responds to his will. In order to become Hanging Chad, Chad need only invoke the spirit Morte of the Huguenots, and then gains these abilities and the combined abilities of all his ancestors. He is the first descendent in the modern era inhabited by Morte, who felt needed for the first time in a long time due to the perils of the 2000 Election. Hanging Chad has completed the Balloteer Hand to Hand Combat Training Program, although the point is almost immaterial as well.

Hardcore When Thomas Edge was a child, his fascination with electrical appliances was limitless. Sometimes it seemed to his parents that he communicated with these appliances, and the child always preferred the company of stereo equipment, even if he was not listening to music.

As he grew, Thomas exhibited remarkable abilities in computer science, and it seemed he could write and/or rewrite programs at will. At puberty these talents became even more noticeable, and it seemed Thomas' mind linked directly with computers. Doctors were confounded to discovered that Thomas' blood consisted of all the usual elements as well as a completely unknown “cybernetic” cell. Around this time, with the advent of the internet, Thomas began surfing, eventually focusing on the more adult sights to satisfy his burgeoning sexuality. Developing a metal fetish, Thomas began to manifest more outwardly cybernetic forms, and he eventually transformed one of his arms and a leg into living metal.

Thomas' parents were horrified, and when a government agent appeared offering to take him to the secret government think tank the New California Project, they did not object. The New California Project was an offshoot of the World War II era California Project, which had created the Left Wing Liberator Mid-Nite Express. The New California Project was no better at caring for the needs of their current experiments than the old Project. Thomas was hooked up to numerous machines, but enraged the scientists by consistently re-wiring systems so that they only downloaded pornography.

Thomas grew tired of his non-life, and was elated when Infidels Inc.'s Darwin 665 broke into the New California project and freed him. When asked to join the auxiliary group the XXX Squadron, Thomas could not decline, and instantly joined the team under the name Hardcore. He focuses his talents on protecting first amendment freedoms (alleged) of privacy on the internet, and would like to bring down certain secret military organizations.

•  A mutant cyborg, Hardcore possesses numerous affinities with electronic equipment. He can access any information by establishing links with satellites and thus connecting with any computing device on the planet. He can also project information onto “normal” thoughtwaves, thus relaying images or information, and is especially fond of projecting internet pornography into the minds of others. This process is very disconcerting for the recipient. Hardcore can internally modify himself, as evidenced by his partially robotic right arm and completely robotic right leg, as well as parts of his torso and left hand. Through the years Hardcore has personally upgraded his systems to fit new technology, and currently supports an internal CD, DVD and DVD Rom player. His electronic left nipple is removable and supports a variety of inputs, or can be re-configured for output. In addition to this he has external A/V, type S and component video input/outputs, as well as a widescreen projection display, and standard AC/DC electrical input/output. In fact, the list is nearly endless, and changes as Hardcore wills. Hardcore's most sensitive input/output electronics are shielded by his access ring. Hardcore possesses superhuman strength, and is highly skilled in hand to hand combat, but also supports various energy weapon outputs.

Harris, Sergeant —Secretary of State's grandfather, who amassed the family fortune.

Harris, Sunshine —birthname and civilian identity of Secretary of State.

heart shaped card —object Saint Valentine carries only on Saint Valentine's day. The card opens to an unspecified alternate dimension where he stores his chocolate truffles.

heart transplants/heart memory —replacing a diseased heart with a healthy heart donated by another person. Heart memory is the notion that a transplanted heart can contain aspects of the donor, and those aspects may manifest themselves in the transplant patients.

Hereticopter —helicopter transportation for members of Infidels Inc.

Heyen (pron. “Kline”) —Homeworld of Refugee X, which was destroyed by the Galactic Pope in his quest to bring theological unity to the universe.

Holy British Empire —term used to describe the religious empire that dominates, with an iron rule, Jeanne Dark's alternate dimension.

The Holy She —term used to reference the religious leader of the Holy British Empire in Jeanne Dark's alternate timeline.

Huguenots —French Catholics persecuted for their beliefs.

Humanism —belief in and the study of the human being as central to the universe. A doctrine that holds man is supreme, and eschews godliness for self adoration.

the Humanist The exact origin of the being known as the Humanist is unknown. Many rumors and legends circulate around his existence. Some say that Leonardo DaVinci actually created the Humanist from unknown celestial matter. Others believe Galileo secretly created him from a mathematical formula which perfectly described the human anatomy. Still others say he is an angel on probation who did not support God or Satan. And there are those who believe he arrived on Earth long ago, refugee from a planet which had lost all reason, and that he remained hidden until the age of enlightenment, emerging as an ardent supporter. Then there are those who claim he is just an ordinary man who has created a mystery around himself to mask his ordinariness.

The veracity of any of these claims is unknown, and the Humanist himself does not speak on the subject. His activities have made him an enemy of the League of Super Saints, and he joined Infidels Inc. to gain strength in their numbers.

•  A perfect specimen of the human condition, the Humanist is an Olympic level athlete. He possesses a brilliant mind, and is particularly proficient in mathematics and art theory. Through mental algorithms he can also generate force cubes or force spheres which protect all objects within from harm, and he can create an invisible set of force-field wings which allow him to fly. He is also able to invent many different types of objects at will. Some say the Humanist has no super powers, but by all appearances this is not true.

 


icy stare —power of the Frigid Feminist. This power causes drops in the surrounding temperature of the target, and, in the case of males, testicular ascension into the abdomen.

Imbutu Mask —mask said to date from the Roman Republican Period, forged by Ancient South Africans to protect them from Pantheistic Western intrusions. The mask makes Black Republican older in appearance, but the Imbutu Stick grants him true immortality.

Imbutu Stick —legendary branch said to have been taken from the Tree of Knowledge in Eden . While the truth of this cannot be confirmed, the stick does grant various powers and abilities to its wielder, as does the Imbutu Mask.

INFIDELicoms —larger communications devices developed by Darwin 665. The INFIDELicoms have a greater range than the communications earrings, but are not as handy.

Infidels Inc. —group of degenerate, morally bankrupt individuals gathered to further their goals of immorality and degeneracy. Currently composed of Darwin 665, Pierre the Evolutionary Chimpanzee, Mister Liberal, Priestwoman, the Agnostic, the Purple Peril, the Wicked Wiccan, the Frigid Feminist and the Humanist; Captain Capital Punishment, Liberal Belle, Unwed Mother, Wet Dreamer, Jeanne Dark, Jack, Cro-Maggie, the Reverse Catholic and Refugee X. Regular members of Infidels Inc. in the auxiliary wing known as the XXX Squadron include Dr G-String, Topless Dancer, Centerfold, Blueboy, Fluff-girl, XXX-Ray, the Red Light, the Re-Zoner and Hardcore.

interpretive topless dancing —form of topless dancing which pretends to have artistic merit, but is merely another form of sexual licentiousness.

 


Jack The man known only as Jack has given many histories of himself, but the one that can be proven most accurate, with records to show so, is that he was born in London in 1832 as Jacques des Gilles, a young man of noble French descent whose family had been transplanted to England due to the French Revolution.

His family grew to like England , and actually became the toast of London society. Thus the precocious Jacques was the darling of his family, heir apparent to the transplanted fortunes and legacy of his aristocratically inclined family. But, as Jacques grew into his teen years, his ideas and actions troubled his family. Jacques moved about the London Victorian literary circles, as well as the seedier Opium dens and Absinthe bars and all manner of brothels. Eventually his family had him committed.

Among the horrors of Victorian Insane “Asylums” Jacques eventually lost his bearing on any reason other than his personal realities. It was thus that, ignoring linear time, Jacques did not age and stayed 21 years old, and began calling himself “Jack.” In the late 1890's Jack switched genders, now calling herself “Jill”, and, dumbfounded, the sanitarium workers released her, tired of messing with him/her/it.

By the beginning of the 20 th century, new tests showed Jill was not insane, merely “exceptional,” and around 1903 she returned to her original gender and became Jack again. He decided he would write, but his texts were always banned, being lengthy tracts on sexual impropriety and what Jack called “post-modernism,” with titles such as “Lewd and Obscure” or “The French Whore in King Arthur's Court.”

Jack eventually moved to the United States and bought a house in Hollywood , just off Sunset Boulevard. As the only remaining member of his family, he transferred his considerable family assets to Hollywood , and stayed isolated in his home for years. Then Infidels Inc. formed to fight the faithful League of Super Saints, and after seeing the Infidels in action Jack decided to join this team, where he was not decried as insane or even odd—only Jack.

•  Due to the nature of his thought processes, Jack essentially exists out of time. As such, he does not age beyond his twenty one years, and often sees things in a perspective which can lead to new and seemingly better avenues of discovery. He is generally calm, having learned to control his emotions, but he can generate such emotional fervor when he desires that it infects those who see him and causes them to experience the same emotion as either a general mania or depression. Jack often carries a mask to hide his face and thus make the emotional revelation even more potent. Jack is quite physically fit (owing to years of “therapeutic exercise” in numerous asylums), is highly intelligent, and proficient in literary alluding.

Japanamerican Suzuki Nelson was born to Scott and Liu Nelson, a mixed marriage couple who would have found life generally difficult except that Scott was a high ranking soldier with the Army and thus his family was well accepted. Suzuki had a happy childhood, fairly well insulated from intolerance. As such, as she came of age during the onset of WWII, she was recruited by the military to travel to Japanese-American communities and urge them to support the U.S. Happily she accepted this task, always appearing at rallies clothed in patriotic colors and extolling the virtues of America . During one particular rally a German espionage agent planted in the crowd began spreading falsehoods about the intent of America to ship all Japanese Americans back home to Japan . The crowd whipped into a frenzy, threatening to overpower Suzuki and those onstage. Frightened, Suzuki yelled "stop" and just as suddenly a wave of force pushed the crowd back, and a second wave of thought calmed them all. Suzuki thus discovered latent telepathic and telekinetic abilities. She decided to adopt a costumed identity reflecting her heritage, Japanamerican, and set out to fight the Axis powers from the homefront. She came to the attention of Mr. Democracy and he recruited her into the Left Wing Liberators. She enjoys fighting alongside her fellow defenders, although recently Japanamerican has become alarmed at the number of Japanese Americans interred in camps throughout America .

•  Japanamerican possesses telepathic/telekinetic concussivity, the ability to generate shockwaves through an unknown mental force. The telepathic blasts can be mild or severe, depending on her level of agitation, but at most can force a large crowd back many feet. Ms. Democracy has taught Japanamerican additional fighting tactics, other than those her mother and father taught her, and she is a formidable hand to hand combatant. She and Ms. Democracy consider themselves unofficial partners.

Jeanne Dark In an alternate future, as distinct from the future witnessed by Darwin 665, The Holy British Empire rose to great power and eventually dominated the world. In this world bands of the oppressed continually tried to gain some kind of individual freedom, and were always mercilessly crushed.

It was, at first, no surprise when a young Joan of Arc began leading a French Resistance force against the horrors of Her Holy Highness Mary III. It was a surprise, however, when this boyish maid began to win victories, and when she also allied herself with the Witches of East Wicca the Holy She began to worry.

Joan and her Freedom Force eventually took back all of France , although it was always a tenuous victory at best. During this time, as she aged, she fell in love with Scott des Gris, a Warlock Warrior, and they eventually married and had a child, the baby Jeanne.

But the fairy tale soon ended, and Her Mary III galvanized her mindless troops and began to take back France in earnest. Joan, the Resistance and the Witches all fought valiantly, but were soon captured. Her Mary III traveled to the reconquered France and declared that all the leaders would burn at the stake. Young Jeanne was eight years old at this time, and watched her mother and father die side by side. Her Mary III brought Jeanne back to London and raised her as her pet, keeping Jeanne chained to the Holy Cathedra and forcing the child to relate what the voices in her head said, “just like mama.”

But unknown to Her Mary III Jeanne had learned her father's arts well, and as she grew to adulthood her inbred powers came to full force. One day, as Her Mary III taunted her, a blazing suit of armor appeared on Jeanne, and a blue flaming sword manifested itself in her hand. She broke her shackles and instantly beheaded the Royal She.

For this she was sentenced to be die like her mother and father. As the flames licked her body, the occurrence of coincidence and repetition created a temporal vortex, and Jeanne was transported to a different continuity.

Jeanne found herself in the bedroom of an unknown Latin American writer known as Funes, who, though shocked, befriended the girl. When the Galactic Pope appeared on Earth to destroy both Jeanne and Funes (as they were a plague to continuity) Jeanne battled valiantly and was eventually aided by Infidels Inc. and later the League of Super Saints. Jack of Infidels Inc. convinced the Galactic Pope that murder was murder, and the Pope left to ponder this.

As she was not a true Saint, the League of Super Saints could not accept her into their ranks, and beyond this she was somewhat unnerving to them. But

Jeanne felt more at ease with Infidels Inc., who welcomed her, and she took the name Jeanne Dark to reflect the horror of her past. She hopes one day to return to her reality and reclaim her beloved France , but for now she welcomes the freedom and company of Infidels Inc..

•  Jeanne Dark is a powerful witch. Her power manifests itself in her invulnerable magical armor which she can will to appear, and her blue flame sword, which can cut through/burn or freeze/shatter any substance. In addition, Jeanne Dark hears voices which give her suggestions for future action. She is a master swordsman, horseback rider and tactician.

Joan of Arc —on the alternate timeline Earth of Jeanne Dark, this Joan of Arc is Jeanne's mother. Not a Saint in this timeline, she was a skilled fighter nonetheless, until burned at the stake by the Holy She.

Jusice Department —covert branch of the U.S. Justice Department kept free from liberal bureaucratic red tape and general discovery by the omission of a ‘t' in the title. Agency which oversees the Balloteers as a “Special Select Committee.”

 


King, Dana —birthname of Liberal Belle. Originally a socialite and activist urging U.S. entry into WWII. Later asked by Mr. Democracy to help for the Left Wing Liberators. Later elected to the Senate. Dana King eventually left Earth when, at the height of McCarthyism, her husband was accused of un-American activities.

King and Queen of the Fairies —ruling royals of the Fae Nobility. Always Sidhe and of a particular bloodline.

 


L'AhshooQ —the Red Light's true name.

League of Super Saints —Saints gathered to fight against the dark forces of Evil. Though limitless in number, Saints most recently seen include Saints: Catherine Laboure, Rita, Clare, Sebastian, Isaac Jogues, Martin of Tours, (Blessed) Kateri Tekakwitha, Catherine of Siena and Francis; also Saints Ignatius of Antioch, Cecilia, Lawrence, Lucy, John Nepomunce, Benedict, Patrick, Scholastica and Christopher; and Saints George, Joan of Arc, Elizabeth, Agnes, Barbara, Philip Neri, Januarius, Dorothea and Valentine.

Left Wing Liberators —WWII super-heroic group that the future Mister Liberal founded, along with Dana King, to fight Axis espionage. The greatest assembled heroes of that era, they later disbanded during the investigations by Senator Joseph McCarthy.

Leonardo daVinci —Renaissance artist and inventor. Rumored to have created the Humanist.

legitimate theatre —anything in Oolantean theatrical productions that does not involve singing as a principal element.

lethal injection —form of capital punishment in which convicted persons are injected with chemicals to end their life.

Liberal Belle The general public knows little about the mystery woman Liberal Belle. She appeared soon after Infidels Inc. banded together, and became an instant member of the group. Where she came from is a mystery. Some speculate that Liberal Belle is in fact Mister Liberal's (formerly Mr. Democracy's) wife Dana King and thus the former Ms. Democracy. However, Liberal Belle appears far too young to be Dana King, and her super powers do not exactly match the skills that Ms. Democracy possessed. Some have also speculated that Liberal Belle is a clone of Dana King which Darwin 665 created to keep Mister Liberal from longing for a wife who is either long dead or too old to be desirable.

However, to her friends and family, Liberal Belle is indeed Dana King, who had traveled with her husband D'or to New Bhverkleh after being expelled from the U.S. Senate on suspicion of being a communist (as her husband had declared he was an atheist). Dana enjoyed life in the domed utopia, and noticed that the aging process was reversed in her, and that she regained her World War II, youthful vibrancy. When her husband returned to Earth in the early 1990's Dana decided first to remain behind, but later felt melancholy and wanted to join him. New Bhverkleh's scientists developed her “Liberal Choker,” a neckband which granted her powers similar to those of her husband. Dana rocketed back to Earth, and now joins her husband and his new friends in Infidels Inc..

•  Liberal Belle is capable of flight, possesses super strength, and is nearly invulnerable due to her Liberal Choker. Although Liberal Belle does not yet know this, the trip to Earth fused the powers of the neckband into her metabolism, and those powers are now permanent. She possesses formidable martial arts skills and uses them effectively in varied combat situations. Though she feared that she might grow older again on Earth, regular sexual intercourse with her beloved liberal husband keeps her from returning to her former age.

Liberal Choker —New Bhverklean device Liberal Belle wears that ostensibly gives her super powers. However, unknown to Liberal Belle, the powers have fused with her metabolism and are permanently part of her body without the Choker.

light refraction device —device invented by Chimptopian scientists to prevent the outside world from discovering this Island of the Apes.

 


Mabel, Donkey in the Middle Eastern Cities —film in which Gianna Schicca played the Virgin Mary. Considered a masterpiece in most circles, the beauty of the film was destroyed by Schicca's pornographic career unveiling.

male supermodel —term used to describe attractive men who use their bodies in exchange for money, but are not prostitutes.

Manuel Labore Manuel Labor was, by all accounts, a mild mannered window dresser for a West Texas retail clothing store, who had developed in his adulthood a relatively healthy obsession with Saint Catherine Laboure of the League of Super Saints (as well as two inguinal hernias, bipedal problems and carpal tunnel syndrome). One night, while positioning a mannequin in a window display, Manuel accidentally knocked over a few surrounding mannequins, and they promptly pinned him to the floor. Alone and seemingly trapped, Manuel thought he would expire until, with a supersonic BOOM!, he saw before him the aerodynamic angel herself—Saint Catherine Laboure. The Saint quickly unpinned Manuel, who offered his heartfelt thanks. As Saint Catherine Laboure flew away, Manuel noticed the Saint had ripped part of her costume, and gathered the tiny purple material. Later that night, at home, he made a small charm out of the relic, and placed it about his neck. Later in that week he went in for another inguinal hernia repair.

Manuel decided to change his line of work, and relying on his marketing degree, soon found employment as the Wine and Spirits coordinator at a West Texas supermarket. Late one evening, while unloading a particularly fine shipment of champagne, Manuel again found himself in trouble, pinned by a weighty box of bubbly, and again thought himself helpless and doomed. Again, with a sonic BOOM!, Saint Catherine Laboure came to his aid. Eternally grateful, he asked if there was anything he could do to repay her, perhaps some wine, but Saint Catherine Laboure simply asked him to be more careful, and avoid injury and further pinnings. He agreed to, and later that week went in for his fourth inguinal hernia repair.

By this time Manuel Labor's relatively healthy obsession with Saint Catherine Laboure turned into a rather unhealthy one. He would spend his free time constructing numerous monuments to the Saint, hoping that he could one day be like her. Manuel also tried to reconstruct a version of her habit, but could never get it quite right.

A third chance meeting with Saint Catherine Laboure occurred when Manuel was celebrating Mardi Gras in New Orleans . Manuel, planning to make a souvenir art shrine about this trip, was stooping to gather some gutter slime into a glass cigar tube, when he became tangled in his beads, and fell into the street, right in the path of the oncoming drunk masses. But, there again, Saint Catherine Laboure flew to the scene, saving Manuel.

While this was occurring, the Tiny Demon es (a printer's demon responsible mainly for typos and especially the omission of ‘es' in certain words like ‘possesses') watched, amused by the happenings. As Saint Catherine Laboure flew off, the Tiny Demon es approached an enraptured Manuel, asking him if he would like to be like Saint Catherine Laboure. Manuel instantly agreed, and the Tiny Demon es materialized a contract. The contract stipulated that, by shouting LABOOM!, Manuel Labor's charm would transform him into a muscle bound superhuman with a costume similar to Saint Catherine Laboure's. Manuel would also gain flight capabilities similar to those of his favorite Saint. Manuel needed only to sign over his soul to es. But Manuel managed to trick the extra dimensional demon, and, employing his marketing skills, actually negotiated the contract in such a way that es became contractually obligated to give Manuel the power with no negative results.

Thus, shouting LABOOM!, Manuel's charm changed him into a costume not unlike Saint Catherine Laboure's, though somewhat ill fitting (one of the only ways es could get back at Manuel immediately). Manuel Labor then flew into the New Orleans night sky, vowing to become the mirror image of his Sister Saint and her Goodness, even as es promised to be a thorn in Manuel's side throughout his mortal life, and possibly beyond.

•  When Manuel Labor shouts the word LABOOM!, the charm about his neck transforms him into a muscle bound approximation of Saint Catherine Laboure. Like Saint Catherine, he is able to fly, but not at the speeds or with the agility Saint Catherine exhibits. While an approximate rendition of the Miraculous Medallion appears on his collar, it is merely ornamental. Manuel must always have the charm containing the relic of Saint Catherine's costume on his person in order to so transform. Although Manuel's entire body is not invulnerable, when he is in transformed mode his abdomen does become invulnerable as the mesh repair work from his surgeries becomes super strong. In addition the stitching from his carpal tunnel syndrome surgeries renders his fists well nigh invulnerable.

Mapplethorpe, Robert —photographer who generated huge controversy in the late 80s/early 90s with his pornographic gallery displays.

M.A.R.I.A .—Mercy Attuned Response Initiative Assemblage. Computer like construct onboard Notre Dame des Etoiles which receives messages from Earth and directs the Saints in their missions. General consensus holds that M.A.R.I.A. is powered by faith.

McWilliams, Alistair “Jo” —truck driver responsible for the accident creating Political Machine.

metorganics —a study involving grafting organic matter with metals of different varieties.

Mid-Nite Express John Washington was always known as a compassionate, friendly man. His jovial nature eventually led him to a job cooking on Old '28, a large American passenger railway. One day Old '28 was involved in a calamitous wreck. It appeared that John was one of the casualties until doctors arrived and found him barely hanging on to life. All four of John's limbs had been badly damaged, as well as his heart, but John held fast. Although the local hospital refused to treat John, a military doctor agreed to take John to his base. In reality, he took him to the top secret California Project, a government think-tank and scientific research station that was attempting to create "super-soldiers." California Project surgeons and scientists operated on John Washington, and his limbs and heart were reinforced by an experimental metorganic substance. In addition, his blood was infused with the slipstream serum, an experimental regenerative chemical that had stopped metal fatigue in tests. When John regained consciousness, doctors explained his situation to him, and the government demanded that he remain on the base to conduct tests. John stayed long enough to gain full motility and to understand the operation of his new system, after which he escaped from the California Project and adopted the costumed name Mid-Nite Express, using his abilities to fight crime. The government continued to hound Mid-Nite Express until he joined the Left Wing Liberators, who welcomed him with open arms. Given the high-profile status of the group, and John's inextricable tie as a founding member, the government has decided not to pursue him. Mid-Nite Express is highly active in fighting Axis influence, and although he knows the time for reconciling what happened to him will come, for now the greater threat comes from the Axis powers.

•  Mid-Nite Express' bones have been strengthened with metorganics, an experimental metal that grants him super strength. The metorganics also generate a constant energy vibration that makes Mid-Nite Express nearly invulnerable. The slipstream in John's blood originally was intended to prevent the metorganics from fatiguing. However, Mid-Nite Express discovered a secondary effect of the slipstream in his system. Through some unknown means, slipstream grants Mid-Nite Express the ability to move at superhuman speeds, though the range of this ability has not been tested.

Mister Liberal The man who would be known as Mister Liberal was born D'or, first son of J'or, the gracious ruler of a group atheistic refugees who were forced to leave their home planet Bhverkleh when an unstable core (or perhaps angry God) caused total planetary destruction. The residents of the planet had scattered throughout the galaxy, but J'or, a great scientist, had designed a space city where he gathered as many of his people as he could. J'or then navigated the space city just outside the Solar System, interested in the happenings of the planet Earth. D'or was born in this city, with the bleeding heart birthmark which J'or and his family knew singled him out for some distinction. As D'or grew his family discovered he had great abilities, and scientists speculated these were due to the fact that D'or's mother L'or was pregnant during their escape from the planet, so the catastrophic events had created this Golden Boy.

The long lived citizens of domed New Bhverkleh kept a close eye on Earth's development, but remained detached until the onset of World War II, when the Nazi threat prompted them to choose someone to travel to Earth and help the allied cause. D'or, by now a shining young man, was the obvious choice, and reluctantly his parents bid him farewell as he traveled to Earth.

On Earth, D'or quickly set up his costumed identity as Mr. Democracy, head of the Los Angeles based Left-Wing Liberators, a wartime group of costumed crimefighters who kept the American front safe. He fell in love with Dana King, a secretary in the war department, who joined him as Ms. Democracy. After the defeat of the Axis powers the two were married, revealed their true identities, and eventually Dana was elected to the Senate.

When Senator Joseph McCarthy began his not unfounded accusations, D'or publicly stated he was an atheist, which turned opinion against him and Dana. Dana was forced from office, and she and D'or decided to return to New Bhverkleh. Once there, Dana found that the aging process was reversed, and she regained a youthful, wartime vibrancy. The couple remained happy throughout this period.

D'or and his people were more than content to leave Earth alone through the Reagan 80's, though fearful of the United State's development, but finally decided to send a presence to Earth once more when the Republicans started their “revolution” after Clinton's first two years in office. Once again D'or returned to Earth, this time as Mister Liberal, but found himself opposed by many including the League of Super Saints. He soon banded together with a group of costumed anti-heroes known as Infidels Inc..

•  D'or possesses the ability to fly, superhuman strength and stamina, is invulnerable and has X-ray vision, allowing him to “see through” people. He is also able to make anyone sympathize with liberal causes by placing one of his ungloved hands over their heart. The duration of this effect depends on the victim's convictions, but it is not permanent.

miraculous medallion —medal Saint Catherine Laboure carries that forces those wearing it to see immaculate truths.

monstrance —device which displays the Holy Sacrament.

Morte of the Huguenots —spirit form which appeared to ancestors of Chad Knight and eventually Chad himself, and granted them supernatural abilities to fight evil.

MR'Rce l —the Red Light's homeworld (as it were, really a great ball of light). The Galactic Pope recently seemed to destroy her planet and its inhabitants, though in truth her people fused into a solid sentience.

Mr. Democracy —WWII super heroic (and indeed only Earth) identity of the future Mister Liberal. Little was known about this mysterious figure during World War II except that he appeared one day at a Los Angeles War Bond rally hosted by society heiress Dana King, promising to protect the homefront from attacks and Axis espionage. Some speculate that he is actually an alien visitor from another planet, but by all accounts he appears to be a red-blooded American male. Mr. Democracy persuaded Dana to join his fight as Ms. Democracy, and together they founded the Left Wing Liberators. Mr. Democracy has no secret identity and spends his free time researching all aspects of the War in the secluded Beverly Hills headquarters of the Liberators. He is often in the company of Ms. Democracy at masked social occasions, and they are in fact deeply in love with each other.

•  Mr. Democracy possesses the ability to fly, superhuman strength and stamina, is invulnerable and has X-ray vision, allowing him to "see through" people. He is also able to make anyone sympathize with Allied causes by placing one of his hands over their heart. The duration of this sympathy depends on the target's convictions, but it is not permanent.

Ms. Democracy —former costumed identity of Liberal Belle during WWII and a brief time thereafter . Dana King was the all-American spoiled little rich girl, heiress to the King Family Fortunes, which were built on land development deals and cemented on later wartime contracts. Dana was so vehement in her desire for the U.S. to enter the War that her father pulled some strings and had her assigned as a secretary to the War Department's branch office in Los Angeles. Generally Dana did paperwork. She spent much of her free time at rallies urging U.S. entry into the War. When the mysterious but supremely patriotic Mr. Democracy appeared at one of these rallies, Dana fell for him and he persuaded her to use her formidable gymnastic and martial arts abilities to fight crime alongside him as Ms. Democracy. In addition to her "secretarial" duties, Dana is an active civic leader, quite vocal in political matters, and especially virulent in her public detestation of the Nazis and what they represent. While often seen with eligible bachelors, she is deeply in love with Mr. Democracy.

•  Ms. Democracy possesses amazing gymnastic and combat abilities, is proficient in numerous martial arts and carries the Axis Smasher, a rod of unknown origin that grants her a variety of super powers. Though many aspects of the Axis Smasher are unknown, Ms. Democracy has demonstrated the ability to fly, and the rod makes her nearly invulnerable as long as it is near her. In the past she has even demonstrated the ability to increase her size while carrying the rod. The rod also returns to her at will. How the Axis Smasher works is a mystery similar to the mystery surrounding Mr. Democracy.

musical theatre —form of theatre essentially created in America , where songs are placed in highly emotional or dramatic moment. A form exercised by the British with some commercial, if not critical, success.

mutant —a human born with some genetic difference that causes them to have extra abilities or super powers.

mystic —one who practices mystical arts, not necessarily limited to Satanic rites, however, as evidenced by Black Republican and even Hanging Chad.

 


New Bhverkleh —city around which Mister Liberal's father J'or placed a dome and launched into space, thus preserving his society in miniature form. New Bhverkleh is fully self-sustaining, and is located just on the outskirts of the Solar System.

New Bhverklean Deep Space Cruiser —designed in Mister Liberal's domicile home, this spaceship is capable of warp speeds and can withstand direct assaults by enemy crafts.

The New California Project —offshoot of the WWII California project. A thinktank and governmental scientific research station. Responsible for some of Hardcore's “upbringing,” though not terribly successfully.

New Left Wing Liberators —rumored new superteam formed with new and old members of the Left Wing Liberators in order to further political equality, stability and world peace through actions deemed necessary. Full goals, and indeed existence of group are currently speculative.

New Orleans —city in Louisiana known chiefly for it's orgiastic, hedonistic celebration of Mardi Gras.

Notre Dame des Etoiles —gothic satellite headquarters of the League. Located in seemingly simultaneous orbital points around the world.

numeric vampire —a vampire who feeds on the psychic impressions of numbers and the mathematical calculations of others rather than blood.

Neo-Platonic ideal —notion Saint Martin of Tours invokes to rationalize his divisionism and the resulting nudity that occurs.

 


Oolantean Royal Family —Oolie Oopie's family, a group of legitimate stage actors.

Oolantis —offshoot city of Atlantis . Oolantis is the underwater entertainment capital, where various art forms thrive and flourish, most notably legitimate theater, stage musicals, pop/rock music and opera.

Oolium jelly ™ --coating Oospock developed that protects Wet Dreamer from the drying and damaging effects of the hot sun, and also renders him quite slippery. Valuable on the surface world's black market.

Oospock —Oolantean Royal Scientist and friend of the family. Has invented numerous devices to aid Wet Dreamer.

Oospock's patented Oolium Jelly Dispenser™-- fish shaped dispenser that Wet Dreamer wears around his neck. It compacts Oolium jelly™ by some unknown means.

Our Lady of Terra —one of the physical manifestations of M.A.R.I.A. A holographic projection limited to the Earth.

 


pagan —of the devil.

papalert —warning system used by M.A.R.I.A. on Notre Dame des Etoiles. Usually activated by the Pope on Earth, but other factors can cause the alert to go off.

pheremonal extracts —extracts taken from bees as they pollinated flowers (in the case of Sergeant Farris and the perfume Sunshine Flowers). Later found to have telepathically suggestive properties.

Pierre the Evolutionary Chimpanzee Long ago, a group of highly intelligent chimpanzees decided to break away from what they saw as the apparent evolution toward humanhood, and moved to an island somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean . Over time this island became a paradise of simian socialist thought, and the residents dubbed it Chimptopia. As mankind spread its influence, the highly developed Chimptopians masked their island with a complex cloaking device, keeping it from the destructively watchful eye of man.

And then Pierre was born. Precocious at an early age, and the son of highly developed Chimp artists, Pierre found life somewhat wanting on Chimptopia. He longed for contact with the outside world, and used his self-created television interception device to monitor the “human” world. When he began rolling his own cigars in an attempt to emulate leading men in the human movies he had intercepted, the Chimptopians finally decided Pierre should be sent away. Shedding no tears, Pierre agreed he would never reveal the location of Chimptopia and he said farewell to the peaceful island.

Arriving in the world of humans Pierre quickly found that he could not fit in, always ending up in some circus sideshow. He realized he had been wrong, and although he longed to return to his now beloved island he found its location escaped him. Eventually he befriended Darwin 665, and helped found Infidels Inc. Darwin and Pierre became good friends, as Darwin 665 was the first to recognize Pierre 's great intelligence. Although Pierre longs to return to Chimptopia, in deference to his new-found appreciation for the ways of his people he has decided to accept his lot and stay among humans, trying to teach them the gentle ideals of simian socialism. This has led to many battles with the League of Super Saints.

•  Acrobatic, nimble, and possessing above average chimpanzee level strength, Pierre 's best abilities are his razor sharp wit and his brilliant intellect. He is quite deft at rolling his own cigars, and can quote from almost any Hollywood movie if it contains a great deal of smoking.

pole dancing —form of lascivious entertainment where barely clad or nude women (and sometimes men) gyrate against and around a pole in a morally bankrupt display, to earn money from hedonistic patrons.

political coup —overthrow of a ruling class or political party by opposing forces.

Political Machine Alistair “Jo” McWilliams was driving his eighteen wheeler at nine eleven p.m. on Halloween night of 2000, amused by the variety of boxes he had left in his delivery route to Tallahassee and beyond. He carried with him a box filled with robotic arms and legs, marked “return to sender” and addressed to a Moses Weinstein. He also had some voting machines (boxed and dated December 1957) that he was supposed to get to Dade County before November. Added to this mix were boxes of various electrical components, and three cases of boxing gloves.

“Jo” was a little worried that he couldn't make it unless he drove through the night, but he had been on the road too long, and eventually nodded off while driving over the Tallahassee Bridge . He awoke and swerved to avoid going off the bridge, and accidentally knocked sixty-five year old Gladys Weber off the road. Gladys was a lifetime Democrat who had been rocking to a Tina Turner CD as she drove into Tallahassee to volunteer at the Democratic Headquarters. Although he tried to stop the accident, “Jo” nonetheless forced Gladys off of the Tallahassee Bridge , and her minivan plunged into the water. “Jo” then completely lost control of his truck, and it turned on its side, skidding to a halt on the pavement. “Jo” survived the crash with a few scrapes, and got out of his truck to see what he had done.

As he moved to the back, suddenly the doors opened and out stepped an electronic entity who declared himself the Political Machine. Rather instantly he began handing out internally printed flyers declaring the need for America to return to Honesty, Faith and Country. As the police arrived to assess the damages, the Political Machine was quite helpful in calming the crowd, and though his memory of the events was somewhat in error, the entire crowd was taken with his zeal, ardor and back to basics mentality. Gladys was not forgotten, however, and the minivan was recovered from the water, but no body could be found. The Political Machine himself quickly came to the attention of Secretary of State in early November, and she recruited him into her new Super-Patriotic Soldiers, the Balloteers.

•  Political Machine is a persuasive speaker, and to highlight his patriotic tones he can change the display on his monitor/head to reflect his ideals and vision. He can also make print outs, internally, to hand out while he extols his vision. Political Machine believes steadfastly in his truths, and does his best to persuade others to join him. He can also pick up television broadcasts, but only if they are local transmissions through the airwaves. Political Machine can calculate one and one half times faster than the most mathematically gifted human can. Though not ambidextrous due to the boxing glove composition of his hands, he is a potent boxing glove-to-hand combatant. The exact make-up of his arms and lower torso is unknown, but some speculate that they were originally the abandoned prototype upgrades for the former Left Wing Liberator Robotgolem.

porn films —films which feature prurient sexuality, sexual deviance, and are morally reprehensible, exploitative and culturally damaging.

porn industry —destructive, disgusting movie making and printed material industry that prides itself on catering to the sexual interests and deviance of its clientele. Exploitative and morally bankrupt.

postmodernism —theory that exists rather confusingly, and likely has no definite definition, and is most likely unGodly.

pq -- Minor member of a trio of printer's demons. pq generates confusion over those two letters, though in the modern era his power in that respect is not as useful as it once was. His general compatriots are pq and apostrophe, although there are innumerable printer demons who know each other well. Although their powers seem trivial, clearly they wield powers that are greater than those involved in the printing process.

Priestwoman Susan Benchley was a devout Catholic who longed for more than the Church could seem to give her. In her search for ultimate meaning she entered a quiet convent in Los Angeles , studying sometimes with Catherine of Siena who had once saved her from a group of Baptists trying to convert her. Catherine urged Susan to continue her life as a nun, telling her this would answer all her unfulfilled desires, but Susan decided that she would study on her own. She planned to become more than a nun, ultimately expecting to attain priesthood .

This was, however, denied her, and when Catherine of Siena publicly rejected Susan's desire, Susan left the Church, embarking on the study of all forms of religion. Her intense studies in these fields gave her a motley assortment of powers, varied according to what religion she studied. In time she lost her identity as Susan entirely and became known as the enigmatic Priestwoman, always preaching some gospel of some sort. This led her to direct conflict with her old friend Catherine of Siena and the rest of the League of Super Saints. In time Priestwoman lost her sight, vision and ability to speak in a normal sense, but grew occult eyes in her palms, and could somehow preach directly into the minds of people. She joined Infidels Inc. to further her goals.

•  Reasonably skilled in many forms of voodoo, mystical intervention and healing, Priestwoman's powers are not completely known. She has studied many arts, good and evil. It is known that she can inflict pain on others somewhat as voodoo practitioners do, though she can do this at will, no doll is needed. She only requires a part of the victim's hair, which she weaves into her long hairpiece, to inflict pain. Additionally, she can use her hairpiece as a whip. Priestwoman can heal most wounds by placing her eyed palms on the afflicted area. She communicates through a modified mystical telepathy and “sees” in a mystical way with the eyes on her palms. She is a highly skilled combatant, but rarely resorts to such tactics.

proportional impact directive —a principle among New Bhverkleans governing their involvement in Earth's affairs. This directive allows for direct involvement, but states that such involvement must make only as significant an impact as is relatively necessary to the cause (thus explaining D'or's involvement in WWII, politically, socially and super heroically). Recent escalations of violence on Earth have opened new debate on whether or not more involvement is needed.

prognostication —the ability to see into the future and predict events.

proto-children —tiny, inorganic semi-sentient objects Unwed Mother can create and control, as long as they are not overwhelming in number, otherwise they tend to cling to her.

the Purple Peril Televangelist Ralph Stalk was a popular and unflinching preacher throughout the Southern United States . One night, during a particularly virulent sermon in his home town of Dallas , he suffered a massive heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.

Meanwhile, on the same night, radiologist Woody Silk was involved in a traffic accident while heading home from a club. Pronounced dead on the scene, Woody's heart was transplanted to a young children's television programmer, Cheryl Twink, who needed a heart transplant due to a congenital defect. Cheryl lived a few hours with this heart, but eventually passed away without regaining consciousness. Thus it was decided that the heart would immediately be given to Reverend Stalk who, by now, was in bad need of this gift of life.

Over time Reverend Stalk healed, but when he was back on his feet, he began having blackouts whenever he became morally outraged. These blackouts coincided with the appearance of a purple monster who would rampage through the town. After recovering fully from surgery, sooner than seemed normal, Reverend Stalk returned to his pulpit and once again began televising his sermons. One evening, when a member of the audience accused him of hypocrisy, Rev. Stalk transformed before the congregation and the TV audience into the media dubbed Purple Peril. He ran out of the building, rampaged through the city, and later returned home to his wife in tattered clothing, police having lost the trail of this Purple Peril when he just disappeared.

Consulting many specialists, the Stalks found out that, due to some unforeseen exposure Woody's heart had endured, and filled partially with Cheryl's “heart memory” and ideas, Rev. Stalk would transform into the Purple Peril whenever he was morally outraged. He and his wife decided they would retire from televangelism and live quiet lives, to avoid catastrophe. For many years the Rev. was able to keep himself in check, avoiding moral outrage as much as

he possibly could, although the Peril did appear some during this time. However, when Bill Clinton was elected to the presidency, the Reverend could not stop the change, and, turning into the Peril as soon as the last poll closed, he has remained so ever since.

The Purple Peril eventually gained his own sentience and an impressive intellect. A brute at first, with the help of Darwin 665, who befriended the rogue beast, his psyche emerged fully, suppressing the Reverend entirely. It is not at this time known whether the Peril will ever re-convert to the Reverend. Darwin speculates that the longer the Reverend is repressed the greater the chance is that he will never regain control. The Peril decided to become an active and open member of Infidels Inc..

•  The Purple Peril is a massive brute, nearly impervious to physical harm, and possesses superhuman strength. He has taken to carrying a small leather case with miniature reproductions of Robert Mapplethorpe's X Portfolio, just in case he feels the Reverend returning.

 


 


radiology —branch of medicine concerned with the use of radiant energy in the diagnosis and treatment of a disease.

the Red Light L'AhshoQ was born on the planet MR'RceL, whose inhabitants were all energy creatures living a single existence gathered together in the great “cloud of light” that was their planet. Early in MR'RceLian history the peoples had been separate and highly sexual, essentially living for pleasure. But eventually a sect known as the missionary lights developed, eschewing pleasure for the sacred duties of common life—they wanted to be the lights of the world.

Before long the entire planet adopted this mode of life and gave up pleasure entirely. But L'AhshoQ was different. Even from birth she wanted her independence, and would stroll alone across the galaxy while a perplexed cloud of light could only puzzle.

Eventually, at puberty, L'AhshoQ developed a distinct erotic aura, and all who came in contact with her light wished to fornicate. Because this was against the ways of the missionary lights, L'AhshoQ was removed from the cloud, and asked never to return.

L'AhshoQ eventually traveled to Earth, but as she was a glowing red light she could not communicate with the inhabitants—inhabitants she found strangely beautiful, locked as their auras were in bags. Eventually Infidels Inc. came to her attention, and she sought out Darwin 665 to garner his help. Darwin 665 was able to communicate with L'AhshoQ, and developed a special suit which allowed her energy to solidify. L'AHshoQ decided to take the name Red Light and join Infidel Inc.'s auxiliary group, the XXX Squadron.

The Galactic Pope recently traveled to her planet and apparently destroyed it. However, the Red Light found her people had actually been fused to a solid form, and were more content. She placed them in orbit around MR'Rcel's sun at their request.

•  The Red Light was born with the ability to greatly increase the erotic desire of those who come in contact with her erotic aura, but the power only manifested at puberty. Her aura allows her to incapacitate targets with sexual desire, but she can control the intensity and duration of the feelings, which usually last for about fifteen minutes after she withdraws her aura. In addition, Darwin 665 has developed for the Red Light a suit which contains her light and allows her to move about as a human. The suit also has a built in mechanism allowing the Red Light to emit her light aura without leaving the suit, and the suit's arm bands can focus her energy into laser beams which have destructive potential. The Red Light's suit is extremely durable, but if it is destroyed she cannot retain physical form. The Red Light can concentrate and blast herself out of the suit, creating a mind-numbing erotic explosion. Most in the vicinity pass out from the extraordinary event. The Red Light is competent in hand to hand combat, and always eager to learn.

Reene, Wolfe —boyfriend and lover of XXX Ray, responsible for the nude “art photography” that resulted in her joblessness.

Refugee X Refugee X was born Xi'Ah'nhi'X'v'hr'Xha'C'hee (X for short) on his home world of Heyen, a world of perpetual late night where the inhabitants all possessed the ability to fly. X became a famous fashion model, ironically termed the “first male super-model” of Heyen. He also became a world champion race-car driver, and thus lived a life of fast cars, casual sex and rampant drugs, always quoting the favorite Heyen motto: “fly high and die young.”

X's lifestyle continued until the arrival of the mysterious being known as The Galactic Pope. The Galactic Pope immediately began to destroy Heyen, and, as the fun-loving, high-soaring people were not belligerent, they were defenseless. In a single moment X's life crumbled about him. He tried to make it to his family home to say farewell, but arrived too late. In the basement, however, he found a prototype experimental escape velocity race rocket car, a planned surprise for him, with instructions for use. Using the onboard computer X calculated a course to an inhabited world and headed for the unknown. He used his planet's dying shockwave to propel himself at even greater speeds, warping away as he watched his world expire in the rearview mirror, vowing he would one day have revenge.

X navigated to the Solar System and decided to make Earth his new home and introduce himself to the world. On Earth he found he had gained new super-powers in addition to his ability to fly. Having done some research on his onboard computer, X found the best advertising executive, and, secretly landing on Earth, he replicated some human attire and approached the executive, Donn Kenny as Cal Vynn. In the office he unmasked, disrobed, and offered his modeling services. Donn signed Cal with designer Gendarme Daumier, and thus started the most successful underwear modeling campaign in history. Eventually Cal began to race “Earth” cars, finding them less challenging but great for attracting attention.

Cal later decided he wanted to become a superhero and fight the evil he saw, thus atoning for his fast, loose lifestyle. He adopted the name Alien X to protect his modeling identity, but a prevalent xenophobia on Earth, and the negative connotations of “alien”, foiled his intentions. When the Galactic Pope came to Earth to search for and destroy the continuity-troubled Jeanne Dark and Funes , Cal took the name Refugee X and rushed into the fray, joining Infidels Inc.. Infidels Inc.'s Jack eventually convinced the Galactic Pope that murder was murder, and the Galactic Pope left to ponder this. Cal thus found in Infidels Inc. some terribly non-judgmental companions.

He once again enjoys the fast life (sexual experimentation and drugs) and continues his modeling career, on occasion posing nude. The general public still has not discerned that “Refugee X” and the strange colored model “ Cal ” are one and the same.

•  Refugee X possesses increased strength, stamina and is nearly invulnerable. Refugee X can also fly, a natural ability his people all possessed. Due to his alien physiognomy Earth drugs can do Cal no permanent harm. Refugee X is quite good looking, and when sexually attracted to someone his neon pink skin glows.

religious photosynthetics —the ability to convert light from the sun and the Son into energy.

the Reverse Catholic When Georgianna LeFleur was born her family's sixth and last daughter, she was green and snake-like in appearance, and the family knew there was a problem. Staunch members of the Catholic Faith, they called in a local New Orleans priest to discern the problem, and at first he tried to exorcise the young girl, but despite the priest's best efforts she did not respond. The priest finally discovered that Georgianna's mother must have slept with a demon—Georgianna was not demon possessed, she simply was a demon. Georgianna's mother confessed that, indeed, the prior Mardi Gras she had been seduced by a demon and could not resist.

The family tried to raise their sixth child normally, giving her a Catholic School education and sending her to Church. And though Georgianna tried her best, she was always backwards in her faith—she could never get the verses quite right, always reversing their meaning. Also, Holy Water burned her demon skin and when it came time to be confirmed, in her presence the Eucharist always reverted to a split-pea like concoction. When she tried to go to confession, due to her demonic empathic abilities, she would recant all of the priest's sins and then remove his guilt.

After this, Georgianna decided to leave her family—a demon Catholic was oxymoronic to all involved. She hoped to find her father, and eventually found he was simply a minor demon stuck in a boring job as one of many researchers for a local horror novelist right there in New Orleans . Her father welcomed her to his occupation, and for a time Georgianna researched, using this time to read both arcane and Christian texts. Eventually her demon powers began to fully emerge, even as Georgianna felt guilty about them.

When Infidels Inc. began appearing, Georgianna noted them and wondered if she might well belong there—though a part of her longed to return to her Catholic beginnings, she was still the little backwards demon girl, getting everything wrong, and the League of Super Saints was, after all, full of Saints. Eventually she approached the Infidels, taking the name Reverse Catholic as she always seemed to be, and they welcomed her into their group. To this day they do not deem her demonhood/faith dilemma the anathema which it is, and like most of Infidels Inc. Georgianna assumes she is fighting for the betterment of society.

•  The Reverse Catholic possesses many arcane powers due to her demonhood. She is a potent empath, especially able to distinctly discern emotions that are guilt laden, and she can remove this guilt at will. When she removes someone's guilt she retains that feeling for a while, but she is not incapacitated by this, as she has spent most of her life in such a state. She can also make an opponent feel “false” stigmata, which is an erotic ecstasy both blasphemous and highly enjoyable. She does this by speaking the words “Atamgits, Atamgits, Raeppa.” The Reverse Catholic can cause the Eucharist to revert to green paste, and she can regurgitate mass quantities of green split pea-like paste, but is loath to perform either of these functions.

the Re-Zoner Hans Veneer was a Swiss banker headquartered in Amsterdam , and had studied the principles of accounting all his life. In Amsterdam he was free to express himself and loosen his collar at night, for unknown to his friends and family Han had developed, at puberty, the ability to manipulate his testosterone levels to that of a superhuman, and could transform his normally fit body into a rippling mass of near solid rock-muscle. He could, thus, change between the two forms, and live a double life. Accountant by day, “player” by night.

But Hans dreamed of making it big in America , as all Europeans do. Eventually he quit his job to become a bouncer at a local erotic bar, and finally earned enough money to travel to the U.S. , hoping to open a club in the States. He settled in Cleveland , Ohio and eventually opened his club, which became quite successful. However, when a re-zoning commission rezoned all erotic entertainment out of business, Hans had little money on which to survive.

He decided to turn to a life of crime, but was soon contacted by Darwin 665 to join the auxiliary branch of Infidels Inc., the XXX Squadron. He now fights to further the interests of fornication with his fellow smut peddlers, having assumed the name Re-Zoner.

•  The Re-Zoner discovered, at puberty, that he could manipulate his testosterone levels and essentially flood his system, allowing him to change into a form similar to a normal human on super-steroids. The Re-Zoner's muscles are, however, rock hard, and resistant to heat, sharp objects and even some forms of energy. Hans' super shape is always proportional to his normal size, so he must keep that form in shape in order to keep his super-muscular shape in good form. He is fair at hand to hand combat, but his juggernaut strength does not require much finesse. In addition to these abilities, Hans has a remarkable ability to memorize maps and can locate places where he has never been. Whether this is a super ability or merely the result of well-applied accounting principles has yet to be determined.

Rikki Tikki —Hawaiian Latin hearthrob and singing sensation. The Balloteer known was Butterfly provided the lights for many of his concerts, and they were rumored to be having an affair. The rumors seem to have been unfounded.

Roadblock Ford Pike was the foreman of a Florida road construction crew, content in his job and fairly happy with his life, although he was single and not terribly attached to anything in the world. In his spare time he worked out, constantly striving to make his body its strongest and best. One day, while repairing a section of highway in Northern Florida , a speeding vehicle swerved into the construction lane, and careened into Ford. Emergency services arrived on the scene, and Ford was rushed to a local hospital with numerous internal injuries and broken bones. While Ford was stabilized, he did not regain consciousness, and doctors speculated if he did he would likely never walk again, and would suffer from brain damage.

Ford fit their profile perfect so, at this time, scientists from the top secret Tallahassee Project stepped in and offered to try an experimental treatment on Ford. He was transported via helicopter to the secret headquarters of the Florida thinktank. Scientists at the Tallahassee Project had developed a variation of the “correctional officer serum” which had resulted in the creation of the Infidels Inc. member Captain Capital Punishment, and they administered the new formula to Ford. Within a week, Ford awoke from his coma, and although paralyzed at first, the formula eventually restored his ability to walk and repaired any brain damage he had suffered.

Eventually Ford developed superhuman strength and near invulnerability. He stayed at the Tallahassee Project Headquarters to hone his new abilities, and when the Balloteers were formed, the Tallahassee Project Committee asked him to join them. Duty bound to serve the country, state, county and city that had restored his life, Ford joined the Balloteers as Roadblock.

•  The revised “correctional officers serum” administered to Roadblock gives him abilities similar to those of Captain Capital Punishment, including increased stamina, reflexes and strength. In addition, this variant of the formula grants Roadblock near invulnerability, especially to blunt force trauma. Roadblock does possess far greater than average human lifting ability, but his strength is somewhat different than Captain Capital Punishment's. The more specific variation of the formula gives Roadblock his greatest strength when he stops moving objects head on, and thus his strength is based on the speed, mass and momentum of an object headed toward him. Although he has completed the Balloteers Hand to Hand Combat Training Course successfully, his brute strength usually precludes any finesse on his part.

Robotgolem —founding member of the WWII superteam the Left Wing Liberators . Engineer Moses Weinstein's family had immigrated to the United States at the turn of the century. As a child, Moses had always been fascinated with machinery and Jewish legends of the Golem. He grew up studying both of these subjects, eventually becoming a world class inventor. Moses also secretly hoped to create his own Golem, though attempts to create a clay Golem always failed, as Moses could not decipher the name of God. Desiring to create something that would combine his two dreams he eventually created a mechanical shell with the basic structure of a man. In his study to find a way to animate this "Robotgolem" as he dubbed the machine, Moses happened upon an electronic code that mimicked the effect of the name of God. He placed the code into the circuitry of the robot and found his creation animated. This creation had its own sentience, and a stalwart sense of moral obligation. Robotgolem convinced Moses that they could best aid the world by fighting the Axis powers and Moses' creation set out to help as best he could. Eventually Robotgolem joined the Left Wing Liberators. Robotgolem is passionately attached to his new friends and their quest for Axis defeat. Moses is an unofficial member of the group, and works at their Beverly Hills Headquarters, inventing many helpful gadgets.

•  Robotgolem is a massive being, and possesses superhuman strength, the exact limits of which are unknown. He is capable of flight, and, while not proficient in the finer points of hand to hand combat, his overwhelming strength does not require such finesse. The Shield of Solomon on his chestplate can generate force projections that he can use either as an actual shield or as concussive force.

Rogue Scientists of 30 th Century Earth —group of godless scientists on Earth of the 30 th century (mainstream timeline) who banded together to overthrow the Theological Democracy that had banished all aspects of scientific thought contrary to Biblical principles. Darwin 665 is their greatest success, sent back in time to influence the timestream.

Rum Tug Tugger —lascivious feline character from Cats . The portrayal of this male cat was said to be influenced by Mick Jagger.

Rum Tug Tugger reaction —refers to Morissa Eliot's initial negative reaction to the character of Rum Tum Tugger in the musical Cats .

 


 
 

 

 

Saint Agnes —Member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Agnes' hair is an almost living organism, which protects her from all outside harm. Saint Agnes is mainly passive in her approach to situations, and her hair has developed defensive capabilities to ensure the best outcome for Saint Agnes and her allies. Thus, while Saint Agnes has no particular physical prowess beyond basic hand to hand combat skills, her hair performs numerous tasks and is superhuman in strength and ability, even possessing the ability to deflect bullets as well as psychic assaults. If the situation becomes extremely dire for Saint Agnes, her hair will essentially cocoon her and take over all activity until the danger has passed.

Saint Barbara —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Barbara can project electricity from the right side of her body, can project flames from her left side, and can control the intensity and duration of these projections. The exact limits to her power are unknown. She carries her thundertrowel, which she can charge with electrical energy and propel to targets. The farther the trowel travels from her body, the more energy it loses, and it will return to Saint Barbara either at her will or when it runs out of energy. As the thundertrowel leaves her hand it also generates thunder, and Saint Barbara can direct the boom as she wills. Saint Barbara is an excellent builder, and can use the thundertrowel to create windows where none previously existed. She is proficient in hand to hand combat, as well as trowel to hand combat.

Saint Benedict —member of the League of Super Saints. Benedict is able to fly using his wings and can communicate with ravens. He is extremely gifted in flight, capable of many maneuvers and gymnastic feats. He can go for long periods without food, or can ask his raven friends to find him nourishment. He can survive in high altitudes, although the limit to this ability is not known. Twin brother of Saint Scholastica.

Saint Catherine Laboure —member of the League of Super Saints who possesses the Miraculous Medal. When placed around someone this medal causes that person to see immaculate truths. This action often forces the wearer into a state of repentance, assuming their state of existence is sin. In addition she possess the power of flight, due to the unique construction of her habit, which makes use of wind currents to propel her at various speeds.

Saint Catherine of Siena —empathic member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Catherine of Siena possesses many mystical skills, many of which are difficult to understand and guarded secrets. It is known that she can inflict the pain, though not the glory, of the stigmata on anyone at will. Her empathic abilities make her a supreme communicator, and talented conversationalist. She is the leader of the League of Super Saints, and is proficient in many forms of combat, but rarely resorts to such tactics.

Saint Cecilia —member of the League of Super Saints. Cecilia is arguably the most accomplished of Saint musicians, and can play any musical instrument. It is, however, her voice which is her greatest asset. She can sing any note, audible or inaudible. She can entice humans with the pure beauty of her song, but can also utilize soundwaves in a variety of non-traditional ways, such as propelling herself in flight or as a shattering wall of force. Her greatest weapon is her Catholic Coloratura, which is so complex that it confuses targets and renders them incapable of intelligent thought.

Saint Christopher —member of the League of Super Saints. Christopher possesses great physical strength, equal to that of three above average men, and possesses superhuman strength when the primary muscles he uses are those of his back. Using his back he can carry almost anyone or anything for great distances. Despite his stocky appearance he can run at great speeds for short durations. The exact limits of this power are unknown, but his stamina decreases in proportion to the speed he actually attains, and the weight he carries on his back.

Saint Clare —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Clare is a venerated mystic. At will she can make the Blessed Sacrament appear. When the sacrament appears, it emits a golden light which Saint Clare can direct towards any person she wishes. This light can cause anything from temporary to permanent blindness, or even complete neural paralysis. Saint Clare is blind, deaf and mute, yet she seems to see, hear and communicate far better than most. Saint Clare is competent at hand-to-hand combat, though rarely can anyone get near her for physical contact.

Saint Dorothea —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Dorothea can summon the angel Totoael, who brings her a basket filled with roses and/or apples. Totoael appears in miniature, but once Saint Dorothea touches the apples they become normal sized. At first seemingly inoffensive, Saint Dorothea has learned to use the apples in a variety of offensive ways, and can throw them at speeds not entirely known, though one of her throws has been clocked at 74 mph. She is an above average juggler as well. Saint Dorothea has learned to request rotten apples from Totoael, and these are excellent weapons at the right speed and aimed at the right target. Saint Dorothea is proficient in gymnastics and hand to hand combat. She generally uses the roses only for decorative purposes. Totoael is a formidable fighter as well, possessing all the strength of a human sized terrier, only in miniature.

Saint Elizabeth —prize-winning member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Elizabeth, while wearing her apron, can transform bread into roses, and vice versa. Saint Elizabeth can also, to some extent, control the growth of plants, but is especially deft at making roses grow rapidly. By influencing the growth of roses, Saint Elizabeth can create thorns of various sizes, and is quite skilled in using them as offensive weapons. Her constitution is similar to Saint Francis of Assisi 's in that she gains her energy from the sun, but Saint Elizabeth regenerates any part of her body that she loses, and can grow an entirely new body if she desires. However, her spirit always passes to the new body and the other form eventually becomes inert and withers. Saint Elizabeth's flexibility and gymnastic skills serve her well in combat.

Saint Francis of Assisi —member of the League of Super Saints. Francis of Assisi is a unique mystic who possesses an unparalleled affinity with nature. He can communicate with all of God's advanced animal species, and can ask them to aid him in any of his endeavors. He is especially fond of enlisting birds. Saint Francis can accelerate the growth of plants, and direct such accelerated growth. He gains energy from a combination of the sun and the Son, regenerating energy from sunlight which passes through his stigmata openings and into his plant-like cardio-vascular system. He can also fly, and though a pacifist, can defend himself in combat situations. However, his doe-eyes are said to bring any angry person to tears.

Saint George —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint George has been mystically fused with the essence of the dragon whose physical form he once destroyed, as shortly before its apparent death the dragon transferred its life into Saint George. The only external evidence of the dragon is St. George's arm, which is green and dragon-like, and possesses a superhuman strength even greater than the super strength Saint George naturally possesses. Saint George can also use the essence of the dragon to breathe fire, although at considerable pain to himself. Saint George must always sublimate the dragon, but he can release the beast. The dragon remains under Saint George's control but will gain its independence if left unchecked for too long, thus forcing him to fight it once more. Saint George is an accomplished swordsman and hand to hand combatant.

Saint Ignatius of Antioch —member of the League of Super Saints. Ignatius of Antioch's genetic make-up has been fused with the characteristics of a lion. When he becomes passionate he assumes his feral form, and in this form he possesses all the agility, strength and abilities of an oversized lion. His hands become claw like, and he has increased stamina. He is also able to calm animals and incite wild behaviors in humans.

Saint Isaac Jogues —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Isaac Jogue's hand, once gnawed or burned off, has been mystically replaced with a living metal which he can shape into various swords, hooks or spheres. These can be used for a variety of purposes, either lethally or in a benign manner. In addition he is able to teleport short distances, is a superb acrobat, fencer, and highly developed in hand-to-hand combat. Missing one hand, he can use the living metal which replaced it, shaping it into many forms. Also capable of teleportation.

Saint Januarius —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Januarius possesses miraculous blood which holds such unique and varied properties that its exact powers are unknown. It is known that, at will, Saint Januarius can release various quantities of his blood. The observed properties of this blood include the ability to melt through almost all substances, and the ability to become solid, at which point Saint Januarius can propel the blood in a variety of ways and in various shapes. If he uses his blood in smaller quantities, Saint Januarius does not need to retrieve it (in whatever state) and will regenerate his blood given some time. However, Saint Januarius can, if he desires, empty his blood entirely from his body, and can solidify this blood into a separate self which he can use to aid him in battle or for other purposes. However, if this form remains outside Saint

Januarius for too long, the Saint's entire consciousness will move to the form until such a time as it/he can return to its/his rightful body. Both forms are highly skilled in hand to hand combat, although the blood form of Saint Januarius can withstand greater forces and blows.

Saint Joan of Arc —youthful member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Joan of Arc generally wears her silver armor comprised of a lightweight metal of unknown origin which is able to withstand physical or energy assaults. The armor also grants her super strength. Saint Joan of Arc is an accomplished swordswoman, and her sword is, like the armor, nearly invulnerable and can cut through anything. Saint Joan of Arc often hears voices which suggest courses of action she should take, and she never doubts the veracity of these. She is a skilled horseback rider and hand to hand combatant.

Saint John Nepomunce —telepathic member of the League of Super Saints. John Nepomucen is supremely gifted in telepathy and telekinetics. However, due to his confessional nature, he cannot divulge any thoughts he reads to anyone else, but uses any knowledge he gleans to gain the upper hand in fights and/or psychological situations. He can fly using his impressive telekinesis, as well as move objects three times his own weight.

Saint Lawrence —hotheaded member of the League of Super Saints. Lawrence is inflammable, and as such cannot be harmed by fire or heat, no matter the intensity. He can, at will, generate internal heat and actually “combusts” into a flaming mass. He can control the intensity and location of this combustion, and is fond of using his “fists of flame.” He can propel himself with the hot air currents he generates. His thermal Speedo and mask are impervious to the flames.

Saint Lucy —member of the League of Super Saints. Lucy is irresistible to men when her eyes are intact. Men are subject to her desires and commands as long as she keeps in visual contact with them. Lucy can also remove her eyes, at which point they become independently motile and can be used in a variety of offensive ways. However, when her eyes are removed Lucy loses her power of enthrallment. The eyes themselves are nearly invulnerable but Lucy's body is unable to see if the eyes are out of range. She has developed many counter measures to assure her own safety. The eyes can be propelled at great velocities, and can inflict damage in this way. She is also impervious to flame.

Saint Martin of Tours — member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Martin of Tours can split into two beings. However, he rarely does so because one form must always remain nude. He uses this power only in extreme circumstances, and applies the neo-Platonic ideal when so doing. At will he can also make his cloak split in two and wrap around objects. He is impervious to extremes of hot and cold, possesses the power of flight, and is proficient in Roman tactical fighting.

Saint Nicholas — The mysterious Saint Nicholas appears only once a year, in the late night/early morning of December 24th /25th . During this time he posses the ability to multiply himself innumerable times, and thus he can appear simultaneously all over the world. He is also capable of limited flight, and can squeeze through tight spaces. At will, he can increase his mass greatly, appearing as an overweight man. This does not decrease any of his abilities or his stamina. Saint Nicholas can call forth gold coins for unmarried women, or gifts for small children from his sack/cloak. He has limited telepathic abilities and can thereby discern the general behavior of children for up to a year. By pointing at children he can telepathically instill a sense of guilt in those disposed (by some previous action) to such an emotion. He can communicate with reindeer and grant them the power of flight. He can also calm storms, although in order to see through heavy fog he requires the help of a special phosphorescent nosed reindeer.

Saint Patrick —member of the League of Super Saints. Patrick possesses all the emerald prowess of his homeland, and channels his green Irish energy through his shamrock ring. This energy can immobilize opponents by making them believe they are famished, or can completely re-arrange odds to make the luckiest or most talented person useless. He can control any snake, and his shillelagh turns into a snake at his command. He is an accomplished boxer, and can dance in numerous styles, most notably step dancing. Rumors persist that Patrick has toured with the show Fosse in his free time.

Saint Patrick's Day —day assigned to Saint Patrick, and on which he becomes Extreme Green Saint Patrick.

Saint Philip Neri —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Philip Neri uses his good natured jollity in a variety of ways. He is an expert gymnast and contortionist, as well as a superhuman escape artist. He carries sacred heart balloons which, when inflated, are highly explosive and can be used in situations requiring such force. Saint Philip Neri controls the explosive timing mentally. Saint Philip Neri is also prone to ecstatic bouts of frenzy, during which he sees visions of the future and suggestions for courses of action. He is well above average in hand to hand combat skills, and has the stamina of a circus elephant.

Saint Rita —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Rita is impervious to any physical damage caused by thorns or other prickly matter. She can use the thorn lodged in her forehead as a weapon, although it causes her great physical pain. She is also highly skilled in all forms of Western combat, and is an agile gymnast. Rita's throwing abilities are almost matchless, and the thorns on her belt are detachable and can be used as projectiles.

Saint Scholastica —member of the League of Super Saints. Scholastica, like her brother Benedict, can fly using her wings. She is highly skilled in many flight maneuvers, and is as graceful and peace loving as a dove. She can soar to great heights, and also like her brother is able to stay alive high in the heavens, though the actual altitude she can reach and sustain has not been discovered. Twin sister of Saint Benedict.

Saint Sebastian —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Sebastian is impervious to all harm from arrows and any illness taking the form of a plague. If struck with an arrow, Saint Sebastian can absorb said arrow, hold it in his flesh, and re-direct it at will. For this reason he often keeps many arrows on hand, foot, chest, head, and various other places. If infected with an illness, he can also store it and redirect it at will. He is a competent archer, and is highly skilled at hand-to-hand combat.

Saint Valentine —member of the League of Super Saints. Saint Valentine possesses the ability to generate wholesome love and desire between two people, and also possesses the power of flight. Saint Valentine carries an arrow which he can use as an offensive weapon, or to incite erotic feelings which are never acted upon but lead the targets to feelings of dissatisfaction and disillusionment with the notion of recreational sex and positions other than missionary. Saint Valentine's arrow always returns to him after it hits its target(s). Saint Valentine can mentally relay messages between two people, but only acts as a conduit and cannot read minds. He can understand various bird languages if he is speaking with bird couples.

St. Valentine's Day (variant) — Throughout the year Saint Valentine is active and possesses the power of flight and the ability to generate love and admiration between two people. However, on February 14 th , due to the general population's greater awareness of him, this power is greatly heightened and he can stir romance, lust and passion to a far greater degree, such that no human is able to resist his coupling ability. Saint Valentine carries an arrow which he can use as an offensive weapon, but this is its sole purpose, the arrow does not incite amorous feelings as some believe. Saint Valentine can convert his G-spenders into a bow if he wishes to increase the arrow's range, and much like a boomerang the arrow always returns to him. Saint Valentine is an expert choclatier, and he carries a heart shaped card which opens to an alternate dimension where he stores his truffles, which heighten romantic feelings. He is often mistaken for Cupid, but Saint Valentine can usually suppress the emotions he creates if they grow to become suspect, and he counsels all to avoid erotic love if inappropriate. He can also speak with married bird couples, and has performed many bird weddings at their request.

Secretary of State Sunshine Farris was born into the cosmetic industry wealth of her Floridian Grandfather Sergeant Farris. Sergeant Farris had built his industry on a unique perfume with pheremonal extracts taken from bees while they attempted to pollinate orange blossoms. As such, the perfume, Sunshine Flowers, was said to be irresistible, and made millions for the Farris family. Naturally outgoing, Sunshine was groomed for a political career, and hoped to be a Republican Senator for Florida .

Eventually, however, scientists from the Tallahassee Project, a secret Florida Governmental thinktank and research center, aimed at keeping American values of decency and conservatism secure, contacted her. The scientists asked Sunshine to join a project in which they had distilled the essence of the Sunshine Flowers fragrance, and discovered within it a limited ability to affect the minds of subjects. As Sunshine Flowers was patented, however, they needed Sunshine's permission to develop the project further. Not only did Sunshine agree, she volunteered to help test the project on herself. The scientists eventually found that, when compounded in excessive amounts of cosmetic makeup, the pheremonal extract unique to Sunshine Flowers could, with repeated suggestion, upon approval of five agreeing persons, cause test subjects to change their mind and submit, briefly, to Sunshine's will. Sunshine decided to end her official political career, and instead took the code name Secretary of State.

Secretary of State worked covertly for the Tallahassee Project, until they decided in November of 2000 that she should form a group of super heroes to fight publicly for American Conservative Ideals. A supreme patriot, Secretary of State then went public with her Balloteers, a group of costumed crusaders who originally fought within Florida 's borders for Truth, Justice and the American Way . Recently the Balloteers have become a national group secretly attached to the United States Department of Jusice, a likewise secret branch of the Justice Department kept covert and free from liberal bureaucratic red tape by the omission of a ‘t' in the title.

•  Secretary of State possesses no particular abilities other than her bright disposition and her family's massive cosmetics industry wealth. Not a particularly potent speaker, her “sunny” disposition nonetheless speaks of her enthusiasm and patriotism. However, as Secretary of State, Sunshine Farris wears the thick pheremonal make-up, which has certain telepathically suggestive abilities. In essence Secretary of State can plant psychic suggestions in any subject by uttering a suggestion and then grimacing strangely. The subjects are not disposed to follow these suggestions, however, until she psychically plants them three times and at least five others are present who actually concur with the idea, independent of being telepathically implanted with said suggestion. Secretary of State has been trained in combat skills by the Tallahassee Project and is currently undergoing training by the Jusice Department to aid her should her powers fail.

Secret Society of Rabbits —group of rabbit-like beings who live secret lives underneath parts (or perhaps all) of the English countryside.

self-abuse —masturbation

sentient light —light which does not conform to traditional Earth biological or chemical or radiant energy standards in that it has intelligence, emotion and is essentially alive.

sexual sonatas —the term Dr. G-String loosely applies to whatever he is playing on his g-string violin.

Sifter, Marianne —record agent who once overheard Oolie Oopie singing and wanted to sign him for a recording contract. Convinced he was a figment of her imagination by a therapist, when Wet Dreamer made his public debut with Infidels Inc., Ms. Sifter was once again hot for his signature on a record deal (among other things).

simian conversion theories (of Darwin 665) — Darwin 665's theory that all humans could, if they tapped into their evolutionary potential, transform into simian form, and the belief that Cro-Maggie represents an important evolutionary offshoot.

simian socialism —the political practice observed by denizens of Chimptopia, which adheres to welfare tactics and big government practices to mimic peace and tranquility.

sINboat —surface water transport for members of Infidels Inc.

sINjets —principal means of air transportation used by II. The sINjets are a combination of 30 th century and New Bhverklean technologies. There are three known sINjets as well as the XXX Wing.

sINsub —underwater transport for members of Infidels Inc. The sINsub uses Oolantean technology.

siN-V —all terrain vehicle for members of Infidels Inc.

slipstream serum— serum given to Mid-Nite Express in WWII, intended to allow the human body to accept metallic grafts onto organic matter, as well as grant subjects super strengths. In Mid-Nite Express's case, it also granted him super speed.

smallpox —the illness characterized by small bumps and capable of severely scarring victims.

stigmata —the five wounds Christ suffered on the cross.

Stonehenge —a grouping of rocks allegedly created by ancient Druids, the exact function of which is unknown, but likely pagan.

sun-reduction device —eye devices developed by Oospock that protect Wet Dreamer's eyes from the hard surface sun.

superDarwinian intelligence —term used to describe Darwin 665's intelligence, an intelligence equal to the original Darwin 's times seventy-three

super-human rabbit-like abilities —refers to a being possessing skill and reflexes, reactions and properties to a higher degree than those humans with regular rabbit-like abilities.

supersonic —greater that the speed of sound

super steroids —the mutated form of the Re-Zoner's testosterone, which allows him to transform his muscles.

synthetic ethereal —drug created and propagated by the ABBA Angels. Not really a drug, but a solidified form of angelic etherealism or ecstasy, which is not traceable, does no lasting damage to users, but is highly addictive. The ABBA Angels do not sell the drug, but rather hope that by freely distributing the drug humanity will turn away from God or Satan, and invoke exclusion thereby.

synthetic etherealism —a practice of the ABBA Angels on Earth. In Heaven, there was noise and singing for all but 30 minutes a day. On Earth, ABBA Angels prefer the different noises created by synthetic methods, and thus founded their electronica/industrial/ techno clubs to replace typical cherubic sounds with synthesized noise, which is greatly pleasing to them.

 


the Tallahassee Project —secret state governmental thinktank and scientific research center for Florida . Eventually absorbed into the Jusice Department after George W. Bush's selection, the center still maintains an autonomous branch in Florida . Originally responsible for the formation of the Balloteers. Sometimes confused with the Tallahachee Project.

telekinesis —the ability to move objects with the mind.

telepathic depressivity/empathy —the ability to create depression and sadness by affecting the minds and emotional states of other people.

telepathic suggestivity —an ability involving the use of telepathy to make others act against their will; it is a milder form of telepathy which is not always successful.

telepathy —the ability to read the mind and thoughts of others.

televangelism —use of the television to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Theological Democracy —unified Earth Government in the 30 th century. This organization rules according to the principles set out in the New King Charles version of the Bible, is headquartered in Neo-Vatican City in Pax Romana, and generally does not favor alternative religions but allows free discourse related to theological questions so long as said questions are not heretical.

theological unity —the notion held by the Galactic Pope that, as man was created in God's image, any species not resembling man of planet Earth must be destroyed.

30 th Century technology —term referring to the many creations of Darwin 665, influenced as he is by the scientists run rampant who created him in the 30 th century.

thunder trowel —trowel that Saint Barbara carries, which can conduct her electrical charges, is capable of limited locomotion, always returns to her, and causes an enormous thunderclap when thrown. Also a useful masonry tool.

timestream —the general ebb and flow of linear or non-linear continuity or discontinuity.

time travel —the ability to move forward and backward in time.

Top Boxer —a former rabbit in the Secret Society of Rabbits who has turned up in America and caught Fluff-girls attention recently. His exact origin, and his reason for leaving the Society, is unknown. It is believed that Top Boxer has attempted time travel.

Topless Dancer Belle Montes had been kicked out of her home at the age of seventeen, unwanted by a family who considered her demon possessed because she could move things with her mind.

Belle left and never looked back, but was always careful to hide her mutant ability. Eventually Belle moved to New York , and struggled to become an actress while trying to make ends meet as a single girl in New York City . When she lost a key role on the series Sex & the City, Belle finally gave up and began dancing topless in an upscale “artsy” nude bar. Belle soon realized she made more than enough money to live a better life. She gave up acting altogether, preferring to dance in the altogether.

One night while clubbing she met a struggling student, Beau Richmond. Instantly attracted to him, she approached and, after some passionate “discussions” at his apartment, persuaded him to join her in a fantasy duet at the bar. She taught him many dance moves, and together they expanded their clientele and brought in even more money.

When they turned their number into a Las Vegas competitive G-string fantasy, with Beau actually playing his “magic” violin while they stripped, they brought the house down.

But, when Disney replaced diseased minds in Times Square , Beau and Belle's club closed, leaving them both unemployed. Forced to make ends meet, Belle adopted the costumed identity of Topless Dancer, and Beau joined her as Dr. G-String. Initially small time petty thieves, Topless Dancer and Dr. G-String were eventually approached by Darwin 665 to join the auxiliary group to Infidels Inc., the XXX Squadron. No longer active in criminal affairs, the two now fight for the restoration of first amendment sexual freedoms with their fellow pornographic Squad Members. Belle and Beau admiringly refer to Darwin 665 as Professor XXX.

•  Topless Dancer is an above average dancer, highly flexible, and proficient in many forms of self defense. Although unknown to the general public, Topless Dancer is also a potent mutant with telekinetic abilities. She carries a pole which she can suspend in air mentally, and uses the pole to dance or as a battle weapon. Beau has also added an amplifier to the pole, and it will broadcast Dr. G-String's sexual sonatas to a wider audience, thus extending the range of erotic stimulation. Other uses for the pole are purely speculative.

Totoael —angel which brings Saint Dorothea her apples, or roses, though she rarely requests the roses as they cannot be used as weapons. Totoael is himself a scrappy fighter for such a diminutive angel, and he has the disposition of a terrier dog.

Tramp— one of Unwed Mother's many illegitimate brothers. He often drives the Unwed Mothermobile, as he is highly protective of his beloved sister, although his powers are not as great as hers. His exact powers are unknown, but he did assist some of his other brothers in putting the gypsy hex on the Unwed Mothermobile.

transsexual —a person with the urge to be the opposite sex.

TroOgre army —army composed of trolls and ogres which helped Shar overthrow the Fairy Monarchy.

 


underwear campaign —advertising ploy designed to make women, gay men and some straight men purchase a particular brand of underwear because its ad campaigns feature barely clad, attractive men.

Unwed Mother Azucena Lucrezia was born in the station wagon of a traveling show. Her childhood was spent roaming the open road with her family, who at various times offered their services as fortune tellers, healers or practitioners of other arts. At any one time her family was called, in any number of towns, gypsies, tramps or thieves.

As Azucena grew she noted the cycle of destructive behavior in her family—generations of Lucrezia women had birthed children out of wedlock, with lovers coming and going as swiftly as the sunset. Due to this Azucena decided to break the cycle. She determined never to have children without a stable home, and, as she enjoyed aspects of her gypsy life if not its past, she eschewed romance for the open road.

While in her early twenties, Azucena was approached by the operator of a local carousel, Billy, and she found him attractive. When he wanted more than a kiss after a date, Azucena said no. Billy then tried to force himself upon her, calling her a slut, adding “as all members of your gypsy family are.” This pronouncement triggered a latent gypsy ability in Azucena, and she discovered that she could create quasi-children from inorganic matter. Thus her “date” found himself assaulted by numerous gray, faceless children, and ran off into the San Francisco evening, vowing to eschew women forever.

Azucena decided to use her powers to further her own ends, and for a while actually became a thief. Her exploits were often foiled by the League of Super Saints, and Infidels Inc. eventually welcomed her into their ranks. She has found a stable life with her new friends, though occasionally she does take solitary gypsy excursions.

•  Unwed Mother has the ability to transform inorganic matter into synthetic children. These children are always about the same size, that of a toddler, and she must have the right mass and weight in material to make these quasi-children. Although they are not actually living, Unwed Mother has a certain amount of control over these semi-sentient synthetics, and can issue them commands. However, they do not always respond, and if she creates too many they generally cling to her. She can, however, make them revert to their original inert state at will, and they will automatically revert after an unknown period of time.

Unwed Mothermobile —station wagon vehicle of Unwed Mother. Although it appears to be a dilapidated station wagon, Unwed Mother's gypsy brothers put a gypsy spell on the car, and it never needs fuel. In addition, it never requires repair. Finally, her brothers put another spell on the car, and the back seats of the car actually exist in another dimension and therefore Unwed Mother can transport a seemingly innumerable group of people in this vehicle.

Urchin Friends —term given to the villainous undersea creatures who aid Wet Dreamer.

 


vampire clan —group of vampires that have the same bloodline and typically gather together.

Voodoo —form of black magic laced with elements of Catholicism. Practiced in part by Priestwoman.

Vynn , Cal —Refugee X's secret identity on Earth. Cal is a top male supermodel, and has posed for some nude pictorials.

 


Weber, Gladys —lifetime Democrat accidentally forced off of the Tallahassee Bridge by Alistair “Jo” McWilliams. No body was found in her recovered minivan, but she is presumed dead.

Wet Dreamer Oolie Oopie was born in Oolantis, the Underwater Entertainment Capital, a secondary offshoot of the long forgotten but still thriving underwater metropolis Atlantis. Both cities were unknown to the surface world, and Atlanteans and the later Oolantean settlers felt this was much better for them, as they could pursue their lives uninterrupted by what they saw as a generally disappointing surface world.

Oolie's family was a group of legitimate stage actors, considered the royal family of Oolantis, and Oolie was also heir to his family's third generation precognitive abilities. But Oolie preferred musical theatre to “legitimate” Oolantean stage concerns, and was often sent off to sing his “songs” away from the ears of his irritated family. Something of an occasionally exiled prince, then, Oolie often produced elaborate undersea musical extravaganzas with the ocean dwellers who were enticed by his voice and generally liked him (including the inaptly named killer whales).

Eventually Oolie traveled to the surface world, keeping secluded on beaches and learning that he could breathe in and out of water, and could sing even better in air. The only problem was that the sun blinded him, so he asked the family scientist, Oospock, to design a Sun Reduction Eye Device for him to wear. On one occasion Oolie traveled to a California beach and was overheard by a Hollywood talent agent as he sang in seeming seclusion. Marianne Sifter approached Oolie with offers for stardom, taken with him and his voice, but Oolie decided to return home instead.

Marianne left in love and distraught, and in later psychotherapy suppressed the event as a manifestation of her subconscious desires.

Oolie came to truly enjoy the West Coast of America as one of his favorite haunts. It was, then, with great dismay that he began to see the environmental havoc the surface people wreaked on the ocean and its inhabitants. Oolie decided he would use his skills to thwart those who would destroy the environment, and thus became identified as an “unknown force for ecological terrorism.” This brought Oolie to the attention of Infidels Inc., and they tracked Oolie and asked him to join their group. He decided to do so, and has been a member ever since. His increasingly frequent public appearances continue to unnerve Marianne, who always wanted to offer her “dream” man a recording contract, and who now must find a new shrink.

Oolie has found it somewhat difficult to adjust to surface life, and, unfamiliar with the intricacies of surface dialects he did not realize his costumed name was questionable. However, true to his character, he was not greatly concerned when the meaning was explained to him.

•  Wet dreamer can breathe in air or in water. When above water he must be careful not to get too dry, but Oospock has developed a special jelly coating which Oolie can put on his skin to help retain moisture and lubrication. This has the added benefit of rendering him quite slippery. Wet Dreamer has above average strength, owing to his ability to survive deep-sea pressures. As he possesses his family's legacy, Wet Dreamer can see the future when he dreams, receiving at times visions of great clarity and at times visions couched in symbolism. Wet Dreamer's tail has a poisonous tip which can temporarily paralyze his victims. He tends to be photophobic and must therefore wear his special sun-glasses. All undersea creatures love him and would risk becoming bisques to protect him. He can swim quite well.

Wicca —pagan religion, witchcraft masquerading under a more benevolent sounding title.

the Wicked Wiccan Nicol O'Donnell was a successful Irish folk singer who toured frequently with her band, the Bonnie Portmores. She was also a practicing wiccan. Life was good for her until a planned trip to sing a concert in New York resulted in opposition from local Catholic authorities, who had heard of her occult practices and felt she was a negative influence.

Undaunted, Nicol came to New York and performed for a sell-out crowd. However, halfway through the concert, while singing a song she had written based on Stonehenge , a fanatic rushed onstage and splattered her with green paint. Humiliated, she returned to her dressing room and found that the paint would not come off, and indeed had pigmented her entire body. Suddenly she found herself transported to the actual Stonehenge , and a group masked Wiccan mystics spoke to her, telling her she had been given a gift. Following this she found her wiccan beliefs were now transformed into mystic powers.

Deciding to use the negative to create change, she adopted the name Wicked Wiccan in an ironic twist, but found herself at odds with the League of Super Saints. Overwhelmed by their efforts to keep her activities suppressed, she joined Infidels Inc..

•  Although she had always been especially sensitive toward nature, after the paint incident Nicol discovered that she could now communicate with all animals and plants, and could encourage the growth of plants. In addition, she found her knowledge of natural remedies and herbal mixing abilities heightened, and she can mix any number of potent brews, whether poisonous or beneficial. She has any number of cat friends who will swarm to her defense should she ask. She can also fly as long as she is in contact with even the tiniest part of a broomstick, a power she developed for its ironic as well as practical qualities.

Witches of East Wicca —witches located in Northeastern France who teamed with Joan of Arc (in Jeanne Dark's alternate reality) and fought against the Holy British Empire's domination.

Working Girl The exact origin of Working Girl is unknown. She appeared sometime in Los Angeles in the late 30s, under the name Lady Liberty, focusing her talents on aiding efforts to undermine the Axis. She first befriended the Anti-Enigma who urged her to adopt the name Working Girl as an homage to the women he predicted would later fill factories in order to produce while the men were at war. She agreed and began publicly denouncing Germany and the Axis powers. Eventually she joined with the other founding members of the Left Wing Liberators and uses her super strength and mechanical aptitude to aid her fellow members.

•  Working Girl possesses an almost limitless mechanical aptitude, and can build complex devices from limited supplies. In addition to this, she can generate intense heat from her right arm, an ability she used while carrying the torch as Miss Liberty, but now uses to weld metals and fuse items. She also possesses super strength.

 


X and Y portfolios —two groups of photographs created by Robert Mapplethorpe, one laced with pictures of gay fetishism, the other inexplicably comprised mainly of aesthetic flower pictures.

X Racer™ --Refugee X's escape velocity rocketship, customized for race car competitions on Earth.

XXX Ray Radiologist Ray Wise was a leader in her field, studying breakthrough technology in diagnostic imaging. Since childhood she had an impetus for her study: at birth her mother died due to unknown radiation poisoning. Ray was raised by a loving father, but in her heart she always feared she had killed her mother somehow.

At puberty Ray began to exhibit abilities similar to those of an X-ray machine, and could see through things by emitting varied forms of radiation. To her, these abilities confirmed her idea that her mother's death had been the result of an early appearance of this ability in the womb. Blaming herself for her the death, Ray spent a year studying her power and learning how to use it without harming others, keeping mostly to herself.

Although a loner, Ray eventually went to college, focusing on her personal expertise. Graduating with top honors, she began to research in earnest. She also began dating, more sure of herself than before. She fell in love with Wolfe Reene, an Australian photographer who professed his love for her. Wolfe published a series of nude artbooks with Ray as the subject, and shortly after the publication Ray was approached by a supervisor who told her to vacate her office—the books were scandalous in the eyes of

decent people.

While searching for another job Ray received a letter of apology from the American Government, stating that her mother had, many years ago, with consent, been given radiation to test the results on the human body. This had actually caused her mother's death, and caused Ray's mutation. Enraged, Ray swore she would bring her powers to bear on the powers that be.

Ray was eventually approached by Darwin 665 to join Infidels Inc. but, amused by the irony, chose to join the auxiliary group the XXX Squadron that Darwin 665 was just forming. She joined under the name XXX-Ray, and has found new friends who share her sinful passion to destroy American morals. Ray is the auxiliary group's field leader, and she continues to date Wolfe, who has taken to wearing long metal claws.

•  One of the few members of the XXX Squadron with finely honed abilities, XXX-Ray has spent years perfecting her powers. In essence she can control light waves and radiation, with a variety of results. She can see objects much like an X-ray machine, or can actually bend light to cause visible objects to become transparent. So finely tuned is her gift that XXX-Ray can, for example, visually strip a layer of skin and make a person's muscle tissue appear, or she can “strip” a human of their clothes by making cloth appear invisible. She can also irradiate objects, making humans sick with poisoning, but she prefers to avoid this. Darwin 665 enrolled XXX-Ray in his combat training course, and she is proficient in hand to hand combat. Ray has written numerous papers on her abilities, which she keeps cataloged in her personal computer, and studies intently with Darwin 665, her Professor XXX.

XXX Squadron —auxiliary group of Infidels Inc.

XXX Wing —a sINjet that Hardcore has modified to be the air transportation of choice among his pornographic compatriots. The XXX Wing is essentially formatted to become an extension of Hardcore when he attaches himself to it. However, others can fly the jet.